Perception

I asked Baby Henry to stare at the girl at the poolside from the dining table yesterday. (Ya, i'm indeed a bad influence, but better learn from a master now than a jerk in future that might teach him the wrong techniques). He seems to be confused, keep telling me that he only sees lights from the pool. I ignored him, continue with my stalking action. Being a babysitter for him since he was born, i definitely know that he should able to see what i see/ask him to see and he will definitely reply, unless he really can't see the same picture like what i'm staring at. Therefore, i sit down on the floor, leaning against the chair, and bend down, in order to replicate his position and height (Science students do experiments everyday, we (specifically, me ;p) only hate when we have to report and get grade based on that.

Ya, i understand why he can't see from that position. Easy enough, he is just too short. The coffee table is blocking the view, and the only view that was blocked is the girl. So, that explains why he can see everything but the girl.

Baby Henry, ignoring the fact that he is a damn naughty hyperactive brat, he is also my master. I grow as a better individual, while watching him growing and learning every single little skills and knowledges in life everyday. I guess i will definitely be a good dad in future, good predictable variable.

Many people only see things from their own angle and perceptive. Despite two individuals standing on the same position, the view that we will get can be very very very different. To make an assumption that everyone is like me and should think, feel and behave like me, basically is pure crap. (You think you are unique, so do others)

How many of us bother to spend time to listen, bend down and experiment, if the same situation happens to you? How many of us will even bother to think that maybe it is just happen that different people see the same picture from different height and angle, affecting the image that we actually see? But i'm sure, that most of us will make a conclusion that the other person should be blamed for this miscommunication.

Sometime, some advices are impossible to send out to. They just can't see. And, why are we blaming them for being in the blind spot? Despite how hard i want him to see the girl, unless we move away from that setting, it is almost impossible for him to see. He wants to see, just that he can't, and why put the blame on him? See from his perception, or else, like me, sit down with him, while both of us leaning against the chairs, and laughing at my own stupidity ;p

Fear

I'm just so so lazy to blog and despite wanted to update my own blog regularly, eventually i will end up staring at my own blog, thinking of what to write.

On Monday, the Valentine Day, i had a dream. A trip that reminds me of a friend of mine, that I think I had neglected for quite a time. We are laying on the floor of my hometown's bedroom, laying casually and chatting (It is one of my hobby, i love to lie on the wooden floor, chat then take nap when we are done). I miss her, a lot and will miss her. Ya, i only start to appreciate things when there are no longer around me. I wake up from the dream, weep and the scenes from the dream bother me, really bother me.

My sister, being an almost-no-sentimental-value person, told me on the same day, that we tend to have fear to voice out things that we like and believe. Why? Fear of rejection? Fear of responsibility? Fear of unknown? Fear of change? I believe that the point that she wanna to make is instead of having fear on so many unknown, might as well you focus on the fear of losing freedom. It is lucky to have choice, and making choice suppose to be based on desire and preference, not through logical gain and risk mathematic formula. I begin to respect her.

Also on the same day, watching movie with my bunch of BFFs, realizing that it has been quite some time since we have this kind of outing. I enjoyed a lot, even i don't voice it out. And while hugging Stephie before she leaves to Australia, i seriously feel like crying. (I do cry, just that it takes me a lot of sentimental events, muster together, to make the tears roll out. I will miss you, Stephie!!!!

Well, combined with the series of events happen on a same day, i seriously start to think that, perhaps, the real fear that i'm afraid of is the fear of regret. It is true, I always think that there will be time in future to do, and the tendency to delay always overcome me. I might not agree with many of my daughter's decision, but i have to salute and give credit on her courage to be true and honest to herself. Ya, shame on me. I don't have.

Perhaps i shouldn't focus on the result. Perhaps i should ignore the fear. Perhaps i shouldn't calculate with the risk and gain formula. Perhaps sometime i should just close my eyes and brain, and just do it. Perhaps, sometime........ this time no sometime. Confession in one week time, for sure.