Male nowadays

The reason i use the term 'male' is because, in my opinion, regardless male in any age or life stage, will eventually face this issue and i guess eventually every single male will eventually experience this. Therefore, i have no intention to play with so many different terms on one word that means the same point.

My room, shared with my sis, is flooded with Korean and Taiwanese male idols' posters and DVDs. They, when compared with me, are taller, knowing how to pose and smile well in order to charm innocent and fairy tales lovers. Ask my mom and expect nothing good from her. 'The foundation of make-up they put on their face is thicker than wall paint.' 'See his limbs, as thin as a refugee', 'Wear like female, wait, they know how to dress up better than your sis'. Well, i agreed. These feedbacks indirectly categorize me as a 'typical male'

Comments from my sis ' He is so handsome, bro. Wear like him and you kill all the girls in college.' 'Gosh, you see how he walk, talk and smile, learn la, bro.'

Feedbacks from me 'People make-up one. Ask him not to make-up and see. I sapu him flat flat'. 'He walked like a sissy with nothing in between his legs. I guess this is what happen when you wear skinny, very very skinny jeans all the time.'

Thanks to all these idols from almost- perfect but mean-to-con-kids dramas, at home, arrows of negative comments shoot accurately on me. My sisters, idols mati-susah-kipas (diehard fans) will try to make me as identical as their idols while my mom, despite suppose to be the opposition party, occasionally agree with them. This is what i have face at home. Life revolves around female, is not fun.

So, this is the dilemma. In one hand, your 'masters' (my mom and sis) are nagging everytime I wear t-shirt with jeans. Community in Malaysia, guys are good enough with jeans and t-shirt. No cardigan, gay-alike- short pants, pink shirt and scarf, to name some. And thanks to the invasion of boyish trend, which announced that it is ok for female to be like male, by wearing like me, having the same hair style like me, behave like me, and even talk and swear like me. DEI, people will say you cool, and say that i look like a girl. WTH?!

I just wonder why on earth they invaded the limited space for fashion for dudes? The space and market for female is sooooooooo infinite. Get back to where you are, please. I hate when my sis told me that a lesbian (usually they are either les or bi, assumption but based on facts and personal experiences) looks better than me. And ya, they eat our prey. (I won't blame them for indirectly making the population of female reduced, but they raised the standard of the guys nowadays)

So, don't complain and curse guys who are looking and trying to transform to 'beauty male'. It is for survival purpose. We used to compete with only male, but now with female. I guess we, the survivals, will eventually compete against pets in future. Wait, we are what. They appreciate cute dogs and cats, but not us. (Google-ing Shaolin Novice Monk Application Form now ;p)

So long, my ugly old but sweet backpack

Ok, i have no intention to wake up so early as it is suppose to be my holiday. However, since i wake up, i decided to clear away junks that is well kept in my limited space. After some serious attempts of separating junks and goods, i experienced cognitive dissonance (go google it, psychology term)

I placed my backpack, my ugly backpack, under junks category. Ok, both side of the bag were completed stripped off in Bangkok and it is a miracle that its body can successfully transferred back to KL for funeral. In another hand, since i basically fix it and its performance will not be affected after the fixing, there is no reason for me to throw it away. However, this is the same bag that hurts my back and shoulder. I have to consume pills for weeks just to heal myself. But, i travelled around, despite being ugly, to everywhere.

This is the same old bag that i bring my overweight loads of laptop, speakers, documents during flash mob. This is the same old bag that i bring my laundry back to BG. This is the same old bag that i bring my limited textbooks and notes to college everyday. And this is the same old bag that i bring along, carrying my camera, mineral waters, towel, maps and everything tiny to my first ever travel, to Cambodia and Bangkok.

Battle between rational and emotion never ends. But, as human, we are suppose to think logically, based on evidences and facts.

Still, it remains as history, sweet memory. Whatever that has passed pass. Despite all the heartbreaks and tears, nothing can change the fact that it is time for it to retire (sounds better than being abandoned at trash bin) I agree that it might sounds cruel but if everyone remain the same and do no change, there is no chance for something better to get into your life. When it is time to let go, let go. Let it be a short term pain than a forever burden.

I love you, backpack....... that's why i choose not to make both of us feel bad.....

Sorry, you should leaving my life now. Other bag (hopefully Nike, but damn it is expensive ;p) might replace your position, but never the memories between us.

Announcement

Give me some time. For those who know me, you will know that i hate being forced. So, don't bother to ask me who is my 'flower', i won't bother to provide answers nor hints. Will announce when i think it is the right time. I think she deserved to know first before anyone around me :D