Friday, June 18, 2010

Under one roof

Things will turn bad and ugly as you get more familiar. To be honest, i think i have build a solid mental barrier and automatic elimination system thanks to what happen at the place where i'm staying. Seriously, i wanna move but with my fellow sufferer (my sis) is coming to join this ugly jail, it is kinda impossible to move. Guess i still have years, or best case scenario, months to suffer.

Well, when everyone is telling me how blissful and grateful that i should be as i'm staying with my uncle, i smiled. No comments, either good or bad. I do not wanna spoil the conversation by complaining on things that they should even bother to know. In certain situation, i have to admit that i'm a serious @$$hole that contribute nothing at home beside spreading the blur-ness and laziness virus to the rest of the family members. I have a nice excuse for myself of not being so deep into the family structure - i want to be independent.

I believe that each of us, though staying in a same house, is different individual that deserve privacy. Therefore, i react at such a way that i can successful withdraw whenever i want. Now, i'm being labelled as 'king of the house'

I believe that i'm mature enough to make certain decisions, especially when i'm the one that suppose to make decision. Therefore when i do without reference and agreement from everyone, now, i'm being labelled as 'the flying pigeon'

I believe that everyone deserve respect and therefore i speak a casual yet polite jokes- a.k.a the Edwardism Language. I spent at least 15 years talking in such manner and yet they still unable to retrieve relevant information from my lame statements. Therefore, i'm being labelled as ' the bullshit machine'

I always think that i can survive under such tough-for-mental- health situation (of course after complaining to my mom, my one and only audience). Now, it is a different stories. Getting more and more familiar with someone require you to see through their scars and dirty laundry, some which prove to be too hard to be covered with their strength. Guess now they see me as ugly as i see them.