Death

I heard too many death news during this holiday, at least 5. To be honest, most of them are not directly related to me, for example, my dad's friend's dad and my aunt's dad, the relationship is too far, that the only time i met them, is through their smiling photo during the funeral. Surprisingly, you will feel depress and sad, at least during that short period of time, mainly due to the environment.

That's a saying, death can be as great as a mountain, or as light as a feather. Everyday someone dies, and eventually everyone will die. So, what's there to be sad of?

It was just moment ago when i went through an article that talked about Karen Woo, a volunteer and a doctor who was killed by the Taliban as she was being accused as American spy. She sacrificed her comfortable life in London, leave her job as a medical assistant as well as her fiance, who both of them will marry in two weeks time, after she was killed, alongside other doctors and local citizens.

Basically, this is just another sad yet frustrating news that happens everyday in life. So, what's there to be sad of?

I read her blog....... She expressed and stated her feelings and thoughts in details, which reflected how tough the life in war zone. (http://explorerkitteninafghanistan.blogspot.com/)

Her blog served as a mirror for reflection, on what I am. Honestly, i will never be working at such environment, despite being well paid (If i will ever being paid). Life is so short, so fragile, so simple, so unpredictable, and yet we have the tendency to make it luxury, complicated, wasteful, depress.

If there is anything that is in your mind that troubles you now, let it be simple. Life is just too short to be complicated.

If there is anything that is in your mind that holds you now, let is go. Life is just too short to be complicated.

Don't bring along all these problems back to the sky, as it will be your burden, making you heavier for your wings to fly back to heaven. Perseverance on such issues are futile, so why bother to let these hold you back. One might left, but others remain here. So, for those who we loved, proceed.

By the time i finished the first page on her blog, i cried......

丢了的自己，要记得捡回来……

有时候，莫名的心情不好，不想和任何人说话，只想一个人静静的发呆
　　
有时候，突然觉得心情烦躁，看什么都觉得不舒服，心里闷的发慌，拼命想寻找一个出口。
　　
有时候，发现身边的人都不了解自己，面对着身边的人，突然觉得说不出话。
　　
有时候，感觉自己与世界格格不入，曾经一直坚持的东西一夜间面目全非。
　　
有时候，突然很想逃离现在的生活，想不顾一切收拾自己简单的行李去流浪。

有时候，别人突然对你说，我觉得你变了，然后自己开始百感交集。
　　
有时候，希望时间为自己停下，做完己还没来得及做的事情。
　　
有时候，想一个人躲起来脆弱，不愿别人看到自己的伤口。
　　
有时候，突然很想哭，却难过的哭不出来。
　　
有时候，夜深人静，突然觉得不是睡不着，而是固执地不想睡。
　　
有时候，走过熟悉的街角，看到熟悉的背影，突然就想起一个人的脸。
　　
有时候，明明自己心里有很多话要说，却不知道怎样表达。
　　
有时候，觉得自己拥有着整个世界，一瞬间却又觉得自己其实一无所有。
　　
真的只是有时候，明明自己身边很多朋友，却依然觉得孤单。
　　
有时候，很想放纵自己，希望自己痛痛快快歇斯底里地发一次疯。
　　
有时候，突然找不到自己，把自己丢的 无影无踪。
　　
有时候，心里突然冒出一种厌倦的情绪，觉得自己很累很累。
　　
有时候，看不到自己未来的样子，迷茫的不知所措。
　　
有时候，发现自己一夜之间长大了。
　　
有时候，听到一首歌，就会突然想起一个人。
　　
有时候，希望能找个人好好疼爱自己，渴望一种安全感。 可当那个可以疼你的人出现的时候，你却偏执地退隐。
　　
有时候，别人误解了自己有口无心的一句话，心里郁闷的发慌。
　　
有时候，被别人伤害，嘴上讲没事，其实心里难过的要死。
　　
有时候，常常在回忆里挣扎，有很多过去无法释怀。
　　
有时候，很容易感动别人的关怀， 有时候却麻木地像个笨蛋。
　　
有时候，看着时间一点点流逝，任凭叹息，自己却无能为力。
　　
其实，有时候，真的会想这么多。　　
跟朋友装沉默，跟陌生人讲心里话。对于在乎你的，不想让他们担心，有时候，没有消息就是一种好消息。其实，很想说“我很好”，或许是昧着心说谎，也只是想把最灿烂的一面，放在每个人对自己印象的首页。