How to be your parents' good boy?

If you know that your parents have a large amount of money, saved inside the bank for future retirement plan and you wish to withdraw it to buy the latest iphone (sorry, watch too much of chinese drama during holidays) or,

If you wanna get a new pair of shoes and you know your mom will rather buy more vegetables and let it rotten inside the fridge instead of getting you one or,

If you just wanna show and surprise your dad in order for you to go out and 'yum cha' till the mamak stall owner begs to shuu you away

This is what you need to do to erase all your bad record and reinstall good memory into your poor parents


STEP 1 = ONLY DO THE HOUSECHORES OCCANSIANALY

If you are those who do the housechores all the time at home, you will definetely wondering why your big bro get all the credit when he only wash one plate after he finish his meal. (For example, me :P)

Reason? Easy, same situation like when you give presents to your partner. If you give them presents on every single important day, eg, birthday, valentine, graduation, every 100 days, every months which basically kinda predictable, try not to give a present on one of the month if you are those who give presents every month. Chances are, good luck dude. Your partner will be expecting that and when they expect and dont recieve, your ears will need some extra barrier to block the complains.

So, if you usually do not do the housechores and suddenly unpredictablely (Is there such word??) you do things that you hate alot. This once in a blue moon 'holy ritual' will be stamped into your parents' memory.

STEP 2= ONLY DO IT WHEN THERE IS AN AUDIENCE

What the point of acting on the stage if there is no one watching it. Like any celebrities, they dont need to act how charming and lovely and cute they are all the time. What they need to do it is just pose and smile everytime the legion of fans and cameras occur. Thats enough to show everyone how charming, lovely and cute (since fans are basically think that celebrities do not act in public, they assume that the celebrites are like what they see on the stage all the time :P)

STEP 3= ONLY DO IT DURING DESPERATED/SPECIAL TIME

This works very well during festival days, whereby tons of 'visitors' come and invade your small habitat. Do what you are good at (ACTING LO, DUH) in front of the audience (FOLLOW STEP 2)and act like you help your parents alot since they will be tooooooo busy with other stuffs, your 'kindness' is very appreciated.

STEP 4= ONLY DO IT IF YOU KNOW/CONFIDENT IN DOING IT

If you are one of the freaking lazy and dumb sloth that never even been to the kitchen to cook a instant noodle, chances are you going to burn the whole kitchen and your pet the moment you touch the stove. My advise, dont do thing that you are not familiar with. Try to do things that looks and is easy eg, washing toilet and mopping floor. For sloths, such 'workload' can be consider as magnificant. You can still play inside the kicthen, but only under your mom survillence. You can act as if you wanna learn how to cook. Your mom will definitely hug and kiss you unless this is not the first time you use this trick. Also, since you dont always 'work', please beware that any major mistake will also be stamped along in your parents head. You wouldnt want your parents to ask you not to sweep the floor cos you broke the broom and accidently poke your little innonnce sis as you are sweeping.

STEP 5= ONLY DO IT WHEN YOU PROMISED

Like STEP 1, you dont need to do any housechores all the time, so if you really wanna prove to your parents that you have change so they can get you PS3, promise them that you will do (fill in the blank) during (fill in the blank). This gives you more time to expect what you are going to do and time for your audience to watch. After you have done as you have promised, the next time when you were asked to do the same thing and if you decline, there is another additional excuse for you (I dont promise you to do that wat, so it is ok for me not to do)

This is kinda classical conditioning, forming a certain pattern which eventually your parents know that you can be depend on and also will do what they ask you to do, after passing through certain 'stimulus' :P

(I really feel sorry for the parents, volunteering is just not inside their kids' genes)