The confession

As i flipped through the photos that are long hidden in my external hard disk, i realized the transformation and growth on both outer and inner. Surprisingly, being a person that have thoughts and long term plans, i never imagine myself to be something like this (someone like now). Pictures of me before 18, during 18, after now, 21, reflected how mature (i mean my brain) i'm now. I no longer fancy on video games, no longer fancy on comic books, no longer fancy on going to theme park, no longer able to stay up so late or wake up so early just to watch cartoon, no longer beg and cry for mercy in order to get my toy.

Perhaps with the wings that attached on my back, allows me to fly, high and away from the typical life that i used to have. Therefore, the luxuries that i used to have, nowadays, for me, no longer excite me. But as you realized that you are flying away too long, being expose to storms and intense sun heat, you tend to look for a hideout, return to place where you used to hate, a typical way of spending a day. You start to hate surprise, like to wander through old memories and photos, prefer peaceful, re-enjoy silly and stupid stuffs that you used to do alone, or with your never-know-how-to-define-embarassing friends.

But, hey, as you keep proceed, it gets harder and further to U-turn and by the time you realized that you are tore out by attempting to get back to the starting point, you know that everyone left the starting point and it is impossible to rewind and pause at that desired moment. So, the first thing i learn after 21, like it or not, things change, keep moving.

I never good in words, despite trying to.
I'm pretty sentimental (occasionally), despite usually i freaked people out when i'm sentimental.

Many times, i hit or miss, celebrate and regret. Yet, as i keep walking, despite moving toward the unknown with fear and anxiety, i thanks every single individual and 'item', good, bad and ugly, that is with me, past, present and future.

Mom, i guess i really grow up, not just biologically ;p