Celebration

I read through an article years ago that teaches me to celebrate every single minor accomplishment. The author was observing her daughter who was in kindergarten, celebrating and cheering for her friend who able to finish her math exercise. She realized that the reason why kids are cheerful all the time, is not because they do not have desires or obtain what they want all the time, but they cherish what they were given.

The same article popped out today and this time, i choose to try it on Baby Henry (poor dude). I invited him to play football. He spent every single breath and energy, running around and pulling my pants, just to try to snatch the ball from me. And when he got it, he laughed. Next, we spent time passing the ball around. He laughed. Finally, after weeks suffering from ulcer and fever, he laughed and enjoyed the time running and jumping.

How long does you miss the chance to celebrate achievement?

Asian like us have this tendency to be humble, hiding and feeling numb despite achieving almost-impossible- goals. Why? Showing off if you are capable to, is confidence, not arrogant.

I ran 2km today on a treadmill. I'm proud of myself because i know i'm better than those sloths who rather stay at home, eating fat yet complaining about their spare tyre.

I drove around a congested traffic like Vin Diesel. I'm proud of myself because i know i'm better than those drivers (my sis) who was screaming in fear, tear and anxiety. (Ok, i admit it is dangerous)

I played the same guitar chords, the same 4 chords for 2 hours. I'm proud of myself because i know as i practice, i'm getting better and i will eventually able to play it even with closed eyes.

Well, you might said that i'm comparing a Ferrari with a Kancil but hey, life is supposed to be happy and easy. Why lock yourself with thousands of expectations that you spend your whole life satisfying everyone but you, and in the end, knowing the fact that no one really bothers about your high scores. Pathetic ya?

I played Dota just now. Losing 0-6, before 6-6, and eventually losing 31-23. However, my team win the game. Yes, usually i tend to overkill my victims and being so obsessed with the taste of victory and achievement, i seriously wish to use cheat code. Now, i'm proud of myself, i never win a game that really requires me to crack my brain and nerves. I feel good.

And i celebrated the victory by sharing it to everyone.

We definitely don't need any reason for party ;p

True love

True love is when you add

- Companionship

- Grumpy

- PMS

- Calories

- Debt

- Adventure

- Argument

- Family

- Tear

and minus

- Condom

- Make-up

- 34C bikini

- Credit card

- Time on video games

- Condominium

- Car

- Certification

- Time available to meet each other

and still, you are in love with the person.

I always think true love is blind. In fact, for me now, true love is pure with nothing else in between it. I love you and that's all.

Hands

Some dreams are beautiful because you never own it. You only have two hands that provide you limited space for your desires. So, think before you decide to take it on, as when it is time to let go, it is not as easy as you take it on.

You only have two hands. Despite having unlimited desires on almost everything, too bad, you can only own limited items. So, make sure what you own is your need, not accessories.

You only have two hands. Despite having unlimited desires on almost everything, too bad, some items are too heavy to be owned. Appreciate it. Love it. And you will soon realize that you don't have to mark your ownership on everything.

You only have two hands. Despite having unlimited desires on almost everything, too bad, some items are too expensive to be owned. Appreciate it. Love it. And you will soon realize that you don't have to mark your ownership on everything.

I always think that if i'm a millionaire and i have the money to buy everything, both needed and desired items. But how many you can buy? How many that you need to own in order to be satisfied?

If i love watching movie, am i suppose to buy the whole cinema or production company?

But i'm watching alone. Am i happy?

If i love taking picture, am i suppose to buy the best camera gadgets available?

But i can't take the picture that i saw with my eyes. I don't have the talent and skill?

If my beloved is suffering with deadly disease, am i suppose to buy the whole hospital and recruit the best doctors around?

But i still can't win this battle. What is fated, is fated. It is fate.

Sharing is caring. Some spend the entire life hunting for stars on the sky and ignore the fact that the scenery around you is as beautiful as stars on the sky. Why run alone so fast if there is someone around you to jog and chat with you? You can't own everything. Things that are not belong to you, let go. You might think you abandon your dream but you tend to ignore the fact that, you abandon pain and pressure of pursuing the unreachable.

I rather let my hands off than hanging on a cliff, if i know survival is almost impossible. You tried your best, no regret. Time to let go ;p

Scars

Scars,

Deep cuts,

Memory of pain, despair, sadness and regret,

Final trophy for survival, owned only by the one that is strong, tough and determine to heal themselves.

Remedy for infinite bleeding.

Scars,

Ugly?

Hard to be ignored?

It is part of life, each scar represents a mark of development.

Like any badge, you earn it, deserve it, despite it isn't the repercussion you even dreamt of having.

But one day, you will eventually telling other the stories behind each badge, smiling while the images from the past flashed as you present it.

One thing for sure, no one will laugh at it. They will be your loyal fans, listen, envy and proud of your experience and achievement.

This is life ;p

Chords

I came back from guitar lesson, and my hand is very very sore, thanks to certain chords. I'm getting better, i think, as days pass by and with more practices, i should be fine to perform on Sept 25 ;p

I experiment with my guitar a lot and it always lead me to random surprise discovery on how i can produce beautiful melody and familiar pop songs, accidently. Some notes are well played, perfect, when it is played individually. However, knowing enough foundation in music, i, no doubt, will explore more, by forming chords out of single notes.

Like it or not, some notes are just not mean to be played together. Yes, they are at their best when being played individually, but when played together, it seems to be weird and eerie.

Some notes, like it or not, are born to be grouped together (1, 3, 5 in notation usually form a perfect chord). Some notes are possible to be compatible with the normal notes in chord, and they form new chord, which only works on certain music piece. Some notes, however, just cannot be paired nor grouped, because, it extends human's finger limitation (You just can't press it, the distance is toooooooo far away. Impossible)

Some argue that they should just be like the norm, follow and search for the most compatible one to form the most typical pair. Some try to work hard, to prove that fairy- tales- happy ending is possible to be achieved. Success is possible with determination and perseverance, of course, with tears, sweats and bloods, perhaps, added into the recipe. Failure is due to inability to estimate themselves individually and as pair, as some doesn't really realize that they need to sacrifice more than what they might get in the end. Some just...... well, better as friend, usually due to 'over-familiarity' or being too logical that it is impossible and shouldn't waste time trying the impossible.

Me? Whether in relationship or guitar practice, putting effort to at least try is the crucial part. It is of course, easier to play simple typical chords. However, sometime you feel like playing advance chords that requires more practices and time, which i still determine to try. For the beautiful notes that never able to be together, it might sounds sad but certain things- you have to accept- are better to not be in group. Instead of forcing them to be together for a destructive and ear-piercing melody, why not choose to let them be what they are in the first place?

I know this fact well. And instead of thinking how to blend these perfect notes to be into an imperfect chord, i rather have them to be part of a music piece whereby their existence are significant not just as whole, but serves as complement for each other. ;p

Perception

I asked Baby Henry to stare at the girl at the poolside from the dining table yesterday. (Ya, i'm indeed a bad influence, but better learn from a master now than a jerk in future that might teach him the wrong techniques). He seems to be confused, keep telling me that he only sees lights from the pool. I ignored him, continue with my stalking action. Being a babysitter for him since he was born, i definitely know that he should able to see what i see/ask him to see and he will definitely reply, unless he really can't see the same picture like what i'm staring at. Therefore, i sit down on the floor, leaning against the chair, and bend down, in order to replicate his position and height (Science students do experiments everyday, we (specifically, me ;p) only hate when we have to report and get grade based on that.

Ya, i understand why he can't see from that position. Easy enough, he is just too short. The coffee table is blocking the view, and the only view that was blocked is the girl. So, that explains why he can see everything but the girl.

Baby Henry, ignoring the fact that he is a damn naughty hyperactive brat, he is also my master. I grow as a better individual, while watching him growing and learning every single little skills and knowledges in life everyday. I guess i will definitely be a good dad in future, good predictable variable.

Many people only see things from their own angle and perceptive. Despite two individuals standing on the same position, the view that we will get can be very very very different. To make an assumption that everyone is like me and should think, feel and behave like me, basically is pure crap. (You think you are unique, so do others)

How many of us bother to spend time to listen, bend down and experiment, if the same situation happens to you? How many of us will even bother to think that maybe it is just happen that different people see the same picture from different height and angle, affecting the image that we actually see? But i'm sure, that most of us will make a conclusion that the other person should be blamed for this miscommunication.

Sometime, some advices are impossible to send out to. They just can't see. And, why are we blaming them for being in the blind spot? Despite how hard i want him to see the girl, unless we move away from that setting, it is almost impossible for him to see. He wants to see, just that he can't, and why put the blame on him? See from his perception, or else, like me, sit down with him, while both of us leaning against the chairs, and laughing at my own stupidity ;p

Fear

I'm just so so lazy to blog and despite wanted to update my own blog regularly, eventually i will end up staring at my own blog, thinking of what to write.

On Monday, the Valentine Day, i had a dream. A trip that reminds me of a friend of mine, that I think I had neglected for quite a time. We are laying on the floor of my hometown's bedroom, laying casually and chatting (It is one of my hobby, i love to lie on the wooden floor, chat then take nap when we are done). I miss her, a lot and will miss her. Ya, i only start to appreciate things when there are no longer around me. I wake up from the dream, weep and the scenes from the dream bother me, really bother me.

My sister, being an almost-no-sentimental-value person, told me on the same day, that we tend to have fear to voice out things that we like and believe. Why? Fear of rejection? Fear of responsibility? Fear of unknown? Fear of change? I believe that the point that she wanna to make is instead of having fear on so many unknown, might as well you focus on the fear of losing freedom. It is lucky to have choice, and making choice suppose to be based on desire and preference, not through logical gain and risk mathematic formula. I begin to respect her.

Also on the same day, watching movie with my bunch of BFFs, realizing that it has been quite some time since we have this kind of outing. I enjoyed a lot, even i don't voice it out. And while hugging Stephie before she leaves to Australia, i seriously feel like crying. (I do cry, just that it takes me a lot of sentimental events, muster together, to make the tears roll out. I will miss you, Stephie!!!!

Well, combined with the series of events happen on a same day, i seriously start to think that, perhaps, the real fear that i'm afraid of is the fear of regret. It is true, I always think that there will be time in future to do, and the tendency to delay always overcome me. I might not agree with many of my daughter's decision, but i have to salute and give credit on her courage to be true and honest to herself. Ya, shame on me. I don't have.

Perhaps i shouldn't focus on the result. Perhaps i should ignore the fear. Perhaps i shouldn't calculate with the risk and gain formula. Perhaps sometime i should just close my eyes and brain, and just do it. Perhaps, sometime........ this time no sometime. Confession in one week time, for sure.