Advice to myself

It is hard to know that sometime, you are just not good in something. You can try very hard to master in something, yet you are still remain blur. You just don't seem to get it though you spent days, cracking your head, thinking about it. Don't blame yourself and don't compare you and other with it better than you. They just seem to have that in their DNA. What can you do?

Everyone is unique and yet we are spending time to imitate other who we think is better than us and never realise how unique you can be if you spent the same amount time to upgrade yourself. Everyone has his own talents, either visible or invisible, as well as his own weaknesses. The only reason, according to Buddha (philosophy thingy ya, don't play play) we are suffering is because we have desire. Well, we are all suffering, thinking how to boost our weaknesses and neglect our strength. Sound funny and stupid? Well, we are.

We just need to admit that in certain field, we are just not that good (well, just not too good to compare with the pro) or totally sucks with it. It is ok, as if everyone is perfect. Some of them just trying so hard to capture all the attention around on him and he just don't know that he is keep putting his weaknesses on stage, which make him look worse.

We may just try very hard, too hard till we expect rewards out from our hardwork. But, world is just not a fair place. However, be proud to blow on your own trumpet and how hard you work on it. Trust me, someone will still notice it.

Instead of spending time and effort, investing on a wrong field, it is wise to put all your eggs on the correct basket. Just be yourself. Soemtime, what you think you want to do is different with what you can do. Be dare to dream and if it fails, at least you have tried and you are definitely better that many cowards that hide his ideas and action in his brain.

Just be yourself and proud to be yourself ;p

College For Dummies

This is the list on what you need to do to survive in college or university nowadays; P

1) Don’t do your ass last minute.
I know it sound so 'duh' but then trust me, if you think last minute crap works, wait till you have 20 essays to do in last 3 days (personal experience; p)

2) Don’t log into msn while you are doing your ass.
Whether you entertain them or not, eventually you will get annoyed and ending forget to do your ass because you are busy annoying other.

3) Don’t get and use a cheap laptop.
Your lappie is very important. So if you plan to get a laptop, get a good one. You will get my point if you experience lag and hang while you are doing your stuff.

4) Don’t act like hero.
If you need help, ask!!!!! If you need to beg your lecturer for info, do so. They are the one that control your mark, your life as well. No choice la. ;p

5) Do learn how to type faster.
If you are those unfortunate that can’t type fast or can’t type with two hands, congrats!!!! You will just need to spend twice the amount of time to complete a task.

6) Do sleep, rest, play (Enjoy!!!!) if you can.
You will miss the day when you can lay on the bed doing nothing while doing yr ass in the middle of the night and even the ghosts are too sleepy to wander around.

7) Do have a bunch of friends that are helpful( and avoid the helpless and hopeless one ).
You are no longer living in an isolated island. Friends will be part of the ‘strategy’ to survive in college. Treasure your friends, ya!!!

8) Do pray hard that your birthday do not fall on the day where you need to do all your ass.
I’m a living example. I have to reject all my dates on that day and hug my books instead being hug by chicks and friends. And do remember to get yourself a cake in this important day. (The following picture may cause discomfort to some audience)





Homemake cake with candle (toilet paper roll and pencil) with book!!! Not edible, btw. Happy Birthday, Edward ;p

Top in my song list

Journey - 张韶涵

曲：Corrinne May 词：Corrinne May

It's a long long journey
Till I know where I'm supposed to be
It's a long long journey
And I don't know if I can believe
When shadows fall and block my eyes
I am lost and know that I must hide
It's a long long journey
Till I find my way home to you

Many days I've spent
Drifting on through empty shores
Wondering what's my purpose
Wondering how to make me strong

I know I will falter I know I will cry
I know you'll be standing by my side
It's a long long journey
And I need to be close to you

Sometimes it feels no one understands
I don't even know why
I do the things I do
When pride builds me up till I can't see my soul
Will you break down these walls and pull me through

Cause It's a long long journey
Till I feel that I am worth the price
You paid for me on calvary
Beneath those stormy skies

When Satan mocks and friends turn to foes
It feel like everything is out to make me lose control
Cause It's a long long journey
Till I find my way home to you
oh to you

(It is just so nice. Ask me if you want this song, FOC ;p)

My Organs

I was born perfectly physically, unlike alot of other unfortunate god's children. Yet, i realise that i am not using what He gives me well. All of my senses are not functioning to its fulllest potential.

My eyes, i never use them to observe and see how people around me act. I been neglecting my beloved family and friends millions of time. Thanks for still be with me. I am so blind that i cant even notice how hard you are trying to send me the message ,"I need you"

My ears, i never use them to listen to other's story. Most of the time when someone is talking to me, i tend to stay away, stay away from responsibilty. I always think that i'm a good listener before i realise that i don't even know what the hell are you talking and crying in front of me.

My hands, i never use them to lift someone or help someone. I am such a jerk, a selfish jerk that will try to offer help, at most of the time, only in the worst stage. I am assuming that everyone will be like me, who don't like to being offer help, or ask for help.

My legs, i always walk in a fast pace, leaving those who are walking along with me. Another act of selfishness, never realise how hard everyone around me try to cope with my speed. I prefer to be alone, wasting no time on something that is not important to me.

My heart, a stone heart, will never have room to fill other's feelings and thoughts. I never like to admit my own mistake and in most of the time, my bloodless heart will just keep pumping excuses. Will definitely die iof heart problem soon ;P

Not to forget, my mouth, one full of junks and poisons that able to pierce through someone's heart and leave a scar on their sensitive's heart. Honesty is not always the best policy. There are just too many problem coming out from my mouth.

Hahahahahahahaha,

Well, think again on how you use all of your organs that God gives. If you realise that you are just a jerk like me, maybe shutting down your organs will be the best way to stop spreading the virus that will causes problem. Will reborn very soon by shutting every single part of my body to let them self-rejuvenate in hoping to be a better one. Sorry if any single part of my body hurts you before. You are free to do anything to me after my reborn. (Please come with an appointment, i dont expect slaps and kicks when i'm not ready for it) ;P

From my small-eyed friend ;P

Sorry - 方大同


当我回头 发现是我
伤你最多 欠你最多
曾经拥有 一种幸福
当你流泪 还问你到底 想要什么

I'm so sorry 我现在知道你伤心
有同样的心情
I'm so sorry 我现在终于能明白
当我为爱付出 一样得到伤害
我才看得见 你的爱是那么深
最深的爱 原来最沉默

爱的温柔 爱的残酷
爱的自私 爱的自由
爱的背叛 爱的挣扎
这些我都走过 你的痛我现在也都有

I'm so sorry 我现在知道你伤心
有同样的心情
I'm so sorry 我现在终于能明白
当我为爱付出 一样得到伤害
我才看得见 你的爱是那么深
最深的爱 原来最沉默

再过了好久好久 当我们又再相遇
当爱 也许已经不存在
我是否可以 再和你坐一起
一切都不在意
想要告诉你 对你的伤害 yeah
没有说对不起 没有说对不起

I'm so sorry 我现在知道你伤心
有同样的心情
I'm so sorry 我现在终于能明白
我也为爱付出 也得到爱的伤害
我也才明白 你的爱是那么深
伤你多深 oh 想要对你说

Final destination

Well, i was surrounded by many emo and moody stories recently, and it deeply affecting me. I am already get knocked out by my studies, and these bad feelings are definitely not being welcome to my life.

I still remember how happy to be at my hometown, laying on my bed, singing all my songs, letting my mind wander, in some occasion, thinking about that big-eyed girl that i always wanted to make friend with but failed.

What makes it so hard to do all this simple tasks again, now?

Is it because i'm getting too serious with my current stuff? I can realise how far my imagination, my happiness, my naive, my creativity, my simplicity stay at while i'm moving forward, day by day, to reach so-called my final destination.

I begin to mediatate, yet it makes me feel worse instead of more relax.

I begin to get back to the starting point of my pathway, giving myself a solid reason to keep moving.

What will i get when i study hard?
Good grade?
Good grade in exchange for good job?
Good job in exchange for good money?
Good money in exchange for good life, with all the luxuries that i dreamt for?
Then?
I reach my final destination
What i wanna do then?
Waiting for the time to die?
That's all my life is?
Thats all?

Funny
We were told to have targets and goals,
and yet things change all the time.

Well, thats life, thats all in my life now ;P

Silence

I'm been thinking too much. Miss the time where i'm more dumb. At least less problem, less dilemma. Been trying very hard to smile, finding very easy to cry, where usually the opposite thing happens more frequent. I guess im growing up now, growing up in a hard way. ;p
(So sorry for being rude, the time will pass soon where i will be who i'm again)