The Confession

To Edward

2011-11-22T23:21:00.003+08:00

Dear Edward,

Congratulation for surviving another extra year. Well, i have to say you have a adventurous year, as usual, so you should really thanks God for all the limbs and muscles that are still attached at where they supposed to be.

And congratulation for growing up and turning more mature. No more playing tantrum, playing pranks, acting childish or blindly. Most importantly, you know how to listen to painful yet honest advices. You learn how to suppress your ego, control your desire, cry when you feel hurt, smile when necessary and most importantly, laugh loud proudly.

And congratulation for learning how to love those who deserved your love. You learn how to devote and stay strong, despite obstacles and loneliness. And after so many years, you finally obtained the emotion of feeling love and heartbreak. And yes, finally when someone is sharing their love story, i can show my empathy.

And congratulation for staying and standing strong when you faced thorns and stones in life. You learn to trust your friends. You learn to dependent and look for shoulders when you are tired. You learn to accept other's assistance without doubt. You learn to climb over your own defensive wall. And most importantly, you finally mastered the art of letting go and picking up less burden.

And congratulation for learning how to appreciate mistakes, imperfection, regrets and simplicity. You celebrate for every single achievements. You sing and dance along when you heard tunes that you are familiar with. You sit down, feeling relax while looking at flowers. You learn how to deep breath when you feel stress. And most importantly, you learn to do things slower and spend more time with your beloved.

Other might not realized the change that you have going through but trust me, no one knows the fear and anxiety that you been through better than me. And for you to accomplish what you been avoiding is already an accomplishment. Congratulation for every single mission that you have accomplish. Toasts for a changed Edward, for a better Edward. Happy birthday ;p

51 Facts about Guys

2011-11-01T20:41:00.002+08:00

Ok, i have to say that i have tons of ideas and inspirations that i should project all of these to my blog. I have to say i neglected my blog for quite some time. I do read more, write more, understand more, feel more recently. Many thanks to the time spent in front of laptop, reading anything but academical-related writings. And i have to say that reading others' reading do downgrade my confidence in writing. Perhaps copying and pasting others' writing will be better. Promise, i will soon reopen my blog. Meanwhile, this post will be my last piece of plagiarism.

I saw this and i found these 'facts' (i think it is facts, cos i got most of the facts listed down here, well, i will never argue with those who have doubt with the list). Impressively true. Many of the facts that are so true and yet so hard to express to people around. So, ladies and gentlemen, read it!!!

Finally, words of wisdom that perfectly clarify my actions and thoughts. Should really cite whoever that wrote this. You earned my respect ;p

51 FACTS ABOUT GUYS :)

1. Guys hate sluts.

2. "Hey, are you busy?" or "Are you doing something?" ~ two phrases guys open with to stop from stammering on the phone.

3. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

4. Before they call, guys try to plan out a little about what they're gonna say so there aren't awkward pauses, but once he's on the phone he forgets it all and makes it up as he goes.

5. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.

6. Guys will do anything just to get you to notice him.

7. Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend or ex love-interest. Unless they're goin for the let-her-complain-to-you-and-then-have-her-realize-
how-wonderful-and-nice-you-are method.

8. A guy who likes you wants to be the only guy you talk to.

9. Boyfriends need to be reassured often that they're still loved.

10. Don't talk about your guy friends to your boyfriend.

11. Guys get jealous easily.

12. Guys are more emotional than they'd like people to think.

13. Giving a guy a hanging message like "You know what?!..uh...nevermind.." would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking. And he'll assume he did something wrong and he'll obsess about it trying to figure it out.

14. Guys are good flatterers when courting but they usually stammer when they talk to a girl they really like.

15. Guys hate asking parents for money to buy girls presents. So they come up with ideas like saving their lunch money for a week. But it never works because guys are always hungry so they end up asking the parents for money anyway.

16. Girls are guys' weaknesses.

17. Guys are very open about themselves.

18. It's good to test a guy first before you trust him. But don't let him wait too long.

19. Your best friend, whom your boyfriend seeks help from about his problems with you may end up being admired by your boyfriend.

20. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don't need to give advice.

21. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.

22. Guys love you more than you love them if they are serious in your relationships.

23. Guys will brag about anything.

24. Guys use words like hot or cute to describe girls. We rarely use beautiful. If a guy uses that, he likes you.

25. Guys think WAY too much. One small thing a girl does, even if she doesn't notice it can make the guy think about it for hours, trying to figure out what it meant.

26. Guys seek for advice from girls not other guys. Because most guys think alike, so if one guy's confused, then we're all confused.

27. Any guy could write out a rulebook or advice book for flirting, but no guy can write out a book about relationships.

28. Try to be as straightforward as possible.

29. A guy has to experience rejection, because if he's too-good-never-been-busted, never been in love and hurt, he won't be mature and grown up.

30. If the guy does something stupid in front of the girl, he will think about it for the next couple days or until the next time he spends time with the girl.

31. No matter how much guys talk about asses and boobs, personality is key.

32. Guys learn from experience not from the romance books that girls read and take as their basis of experience.

33. Guys worry about the thin line between being compassionate and being whipped.

34. If a guy looks unusually calm and laid back, he's probably faking it and is spazzing inside.

35. When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl, he really is. Guys rarely say that.

36. When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just actually saying, "Please come and listen to me."

37. Guys don't really have final decisions.

38. If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him. It doesn't happen that often, so when it does, you know something's up.

39. If your best guy friend seems to avoid you or is never around when you're with your boyfriend, he's probably jealous and likes you.

40. When a guy looks at you for longer than a second, he's definitely thinking something.

41. Guys like femininity not feebleness.

42. Guys don't like girls who punch harder than they do.

43. A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.

44. Don't be a snob. Guys can be intimidated and give up easily.

45. Everything in moderation. Put on makeup, wear perfume. Just not too much.

46. Guys talk about girls more than girls talk about guys.

47. Guys hate rejection, but they hate being led on even more.

48. Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions and are MAD confusing but somehow are drawn even more to them.

49. A guy would give his left nut to be able to read a girl's mind for a day.

50. No guy can handle all his problems by his own. He's just too stubborn to admit it

51. Not all guys are assholes. Just because ONE is a jackass doesnt mean he represents ALL of us.

Last quater of 2011

2011-09-05T22:12:00.004+08:00

Things to do (attempt to do) in this last 4 months before 2012.

1)Finish thesis (without this, i wouldn't be alive to see the 2012 sunrise)

2)Heading to Terengganu (Conquer this area and my Swift route map is complete)

3)Master and perform for my friend's birthday party (Luckily i have a decent vocal to cover the flaws)

4)Six- abs (I been telling everyone that i actually have it but it is time to face the truth)

5)Wear 100 clothes in 100 days without washing and repeating anyone (I never realize i'm a shopaholic)

6)Paint my new room's blackboard wall (Should get the key really soon *cross fingers*)

7)Run in a marathon (Currently looking for one to join)

8)Learn how to cam-whore (To be honest, i think i'm better nowadays, thanks to my sis)

9)Tie my hair (Please stop me from cutting/trimming my hair)

10)Wake up early, without ignoring the alarm (Yeah, this is hard. Hardest)

I read this from another blog. Pretty true. I agree :D

2011-07-22T15:39:00.000+08:00

有的人认为我这么说是一种懦弱，其实不然，因为是人都需要一个依靠，因为人生在世有很多的事情会使人感到心痛，也会心力交瘁，会很累，都需要一个可以靠一靠的地方，休息一下。依靠不是女人的专利，男人也需要，有的时候会比女人更需要。

　　我们常听女人们说，想找一个坚实的臂膀靠一靠，得到一个安慰和坚实。其实男人也是需要的，他不是在找一个比自己更加坚实的臂膀，而是找到一个可以让自己安稳的休息的柔软，不是坚实而是温存的栖息。

　　男人的依靠是有别于女人的依靠，他的依靠来自于一个轻轻的问候，来自于一个简单的亲昵，也可能来自于女人的一个娇滴滴的撒娇，也会从女人的关心的埋怨中得到一个安慰。

　　有的时候男人需要女人的唠叨，也需要女人的埋怨，更需要女人的没完没了地说着她们这一天的经历。你也许会看到一个大男人躺在自己女人的怀抱里，听者女人的诉说，就像是一个小孩子听着母亲的故事一样那么的认真，而且还有着那么多的瞌睡。他们听女人说话，不是想知道什么，只是想听音乐一样，享受着一种来自自己爱的人的心底的抒发。

　　男人需要理解，更需要一点关心，哪怕是一个微不足道的问及也是一种美好。

　　有人说讨厌自己女人的唠叨，这是不假，因为这个女人唠叨的是使男人厌烦的话题，那是真得会使男人觉得那不是在听自己女人的诉说，而是在听一种噪音。

　　男人还怕寂寞。比女人还要害怕。他们害怕自己的女人不再说话，也不再说心里的话。他们惧怕自己女人的远去，即使很短时间的离开也会惴惴不安。

　　男人的依靠还来自于对感情的执着和忠诚，他们觉得情感的执着和忠诚比任何事情都重要，因为他们最怕的就是后院起火，因为那会使他们从此失去一种信念，那就是失去生命的意义。生命的意义就是来自于人性的忠实。一旦男人觉得人性的缺失了，那么他们就会觉得这个世界就此不再有任何可以信任的东西，那么就会变为一个行尸走肉，从此不会有任何的快乐可言。

　　男人的依靠还来自于尊重，他们认为彼此的情感上的尊重仅次于对感情的忠实和执着。他们认为一切感情都来自于执着的忠诚和彼此的尊重。这种尊重来自于细微的言表，不见的是一种隆重的仪式。也许就是一个生日的简单礼物，也许就是一个简单的举止，都是对自己的尊重。有的时候他们不需要那么具体的东西，只需要一个发自内心的关怀。这一点男人既虚荣也很实际。

　　男人在最忧伤和失落的时候，也会像女人一样，哭出来，那只是一种宣泄，这个时候只需要女人的一个动作——摸摸头，说几句安慰的话，不要走开，和他一起享受静寂，这就足够了。

　　男人其实有的时候也很麻烦，只是不像女人那么实在，都是偷偷做出来的，他们嘴上都不会说的。

　　男人也很脆弱，因为他们承受的要比女人要承受的多，即使是一个比男人强势的女人也不会有多于男人的承受，因为男人是上帝塑造的一个需要承受的载体，你逃不掉！

Sunset

2011-06-18T15:37:00.002+08:00

A boy running fast toward the peak of the hill with a big bag that big enough to cover his skinny body and heavy enough to fall on him. He is very tired and lost, hesitating on whether to quit or not. However, he keeps running and the tears and sweats are the best evidence to prove his hard work.

An old man is walking down from the peak. He saw this boy, using all the energy and strength he has to move on. He is moving slower as time goes by. He is just too tired.

'Boy, you shouldn't carry an overload bag. It is impossible to reach the peak of the hill. There is still quite a distance to reach to the peak. You might break your bones,

'Thanks, but it is ok. My friends need all the foods in my bag. It is heavy and i might be slower, but i will still able to reach the peak if i keep moving.'

'You might miss the sunset, looking at your current pace. Trust me, drop down some of your luggages and you can keep some of these at the rest hut. I believe that your friends prefer to have you with them without the food, instead of having all the foods but miss the sunset'

'Rest hut? I don't see any hut around. It is ok, i think my friends will be mad if i cannot reach the peak on time with all the foods'

'Do they bring their own food?'

'Ya'

'Do they bring enough food?'

'Ya'

'Can't you share your food with them?'

'Ya'

'Then why do you work so hard to bring the foods to the peak as if they will die without the foods?'

'Cos i don't wanna be the only one without food'

'So, you bring more foods than all of your friends?'

'Ya, but i will share. I just wanna make sure that i have more than enough'

'Then i bet that you definitely miss the rest hut as you are trying so hard to walk to the peak'

'Hut?'

'And i bet that you definitely miss the all the scenery too.'

'It is ok, i can still make it to view the sunset.'

'Hahahaha, and i dare to bet my life that you will definitely miss the sunset too. Look at the sky now.'

'Crap'

Sounds familiar?

We worked so hard to fill others' expectation.

We worked so hard to reach the others' destination.

We worked so hard to prove to others that we are equal, yet unique.

And most of the time, we worked so hard, only to realize that we miss more than what we gain at the final destination.

We will have to carry a lot of luggages as we travel in life. Are all necessary?

And how much weight you can carry?

Climbing so hard to reach the destination that is unknown and miss out all the definite sceneries in life. Is it worthy? ;p

Cold Reading Test

2011-05-24T10:34:00.002+08:00

Saw this as i went for a cognitive topic for my experiment. According to them, cold reading can be analyzed via science. I participated and to be honest, some of the facts seem to match and fit my personality well. So, should i do this for my experiment? ;p

(Source : http://psychologistworld.com/cognitive/psychology_reading_test.php)

Cold Reading Test

Most treasured possession: Myself

Favourite number: 9

Most influential role model: No one

The impression of you that I get is that you are a sensitive person but are often wary of expressing your true thoughts and emotions. I feel that you have been hurt in the past and this may be the reason for your caution – however, once you allow people to become a part of your life, i.e. by confiding in them or accepting their help or advice, you find it easier to develop a sense of trust and affinity.

There is something from your childhood which you are especially sensitive about – I’m not sure exactly what this is but I do know that it would take a very special person for you to confide this secret to. If this issue hasn’t yet been resolved then you may feel a little ashamed of whatever this was but one message that comes through to me is that it was not your fault.

You have always tried your best in most of the things that you’ve done. You realize that you could have done better at times with certain projects but your interest simply wasn’t there. You find it easy to concentrate on things that really interest you, but if someone tries to make you study a subject or project that you don’t want to learn about then you tend to ‘phase out’.

There was an artistic or musical interest that you had when you were younger that you could have developed but didn’t. It may be that there were too many other things going on in your life at the time – or that it simply wasn’t the right time for you – I feel that you will probably go back to that interest at some time in the future and excel at it.

You lost someone very special in your past and this left you with a sense of loneliness or abandonment. You still miss this person but I figure you are now coming to terms with that loss. In a way it made you appreciate loved ones more; however you don’t always show your true feelings.

You find the opposite sex intriguing. Sometimes you hate them, sometimes you love them. Your emotions seem to swing from high to low and back again.

You would like to be the centre of attention at times – however most of the time you are happy to watch and observe. You don’t like making a fool of yourself and you certainly wouldn’t enjoy seeing your best friend or someone you really care about making a fool of themselves.

You have an overwhelming protective instinct. If someone you love annoys you then you will tell them so. If an outsider insults them then you instinctively jump to their defensive. It’s as though ‘It’s alright for you to say that, but not for them to’.

You have certain colours that you like and will wear them depending on your mood. You are also sensitive to smell – you have favourite aromas – and some memories that are associated to them – e.g. bonfire night or your mother’s favourite perfume or shampoo – or perhaps a favourite dish – roast beef – curry – chicken or steak or perhaps even a tomato based recipe.

You are idealistic about the person you would like to eventually settle down with (if indeed you have not already met that person). You really want your relationship to work out and will do your utmost to make things work. However if your partnership is wrong then you have no hesitation in not making this effort.

You want to be happy in life. You hate hurting people and if this inadvertently does happen then you feel that hurt yourself. You are happy with your morals but would love to improve yourself in some way.

At the moment you are in some sort of quandary about the direction your life is taking you and there are decisions to be made. Making decisions is not always easy for you – you like to weigh up the options in your mind and find yourself swayed by outside distractions. In this area you should always trust your instinct.

Life is not always easy for you – often you meet obstacles just as you think you are reaching your goal. These setbacks can make you feel unsettled or even depressed at times but you have a knack of being able to bounce back.

When you look back on your life at some of the difficult times you realize that they seemed a lot worse at the time than they actually were. You are a survivor and are guided by hope and optimism.

Money can be an issue for you and you should learn to manage it more effectively. Although you have to rely on outside sources at times you would prefer to be totally independent in this area.

You dislike chaos and would be happier in a well organized environment but it seems that there is never enough time to carry out your well meaning intentions.

Some time ago there was a disastrous relationship that knocked your confidence somewhat. Although you are over that now, there are still times when you feel vulnerable and insecure. You want to be loved for who you are, not how others want you to be and you generally try to please most of the time – however under extreme provocation you find it impossible to bottle up your feelings and minor explosions can occur.

In order to overcome this tendency you should learn to communicate more freely in the early stages of an impending crisis.

You enjoy travelling but something seems to be holding you back from being able to visit all the places you’d like to go. This could be money or other commitments or simply something within yourself that you have not yet acknowledged.

Children, or one in particular, will play an important part of your life and you will derive a great deal of pleasure from helping him or her. You will also find yourself re-thinking a lot of your original ideas as your experience and maturity grow.

Celebration

2011-05-19T21:59:00.002+08:00

I read through an article years ago that teaches me to celebrate every single minor accomplishment. The author was observing her daughter who was in kindergarten, celebrating and cheering for her friend who able to finish her math exercise. She realized that the reason why kids are cheerful all the time, is not because they do not have desires or obtain what they want all the time, but they cherish what they were given.

The same article popped out today and this time, i choose to try it on Baby Henry (poor dude). I invited him to play football. He spent every single breath and energy, running around and pulling my pants, just to try to snatch the ball from me. And when he got it, he laughed. Next, we spent time passing the ball around. He laughed. Finally, after weeks suffering from ulcer and fever, he laughed and enjoyed the time running and jumping.

How long does you miss the chance to celebrate achievement?

Asian like us have this tendency to be humble, hiding and feeling numb despite achieving almost-impossible- goals. Why? Showing off if you are capable to, is confidence, not arrogant.

I ran 2km today on a treadmill. I'm proud of myself because i know i'm better than those sloths who rather stay at home, eating fat yet complaining about their spare tyre.

I drove around a congested traffic like Vin Diesel. I'm proud of myself because i know i'm better than those drivers (my sis) who was screaming in fear, tear and anxiety. (Ok, i admit it is dangerous)

I played the same guitar chords, the same 4 chords for 2 hours. I'm proud of myself because i know as i practice, i'm getting better and i will eventually able to play it even with closed eyes.

Well, you might said that i'm comparing a Ferrari with a Kancil but hey, life is supposed to be happy and easy. Why lock yourself with thousands of expectations that you spend your whole life satisfying everyone but you, and in the end, knowing the fact that no one really bothers about your high scores. Pathetic ya?

I played Dota just now. Losing 0-6, before 6-6, and eventually losing 31-23. However, my team win the game. Yes, usually i tend to overkill my victims and being so obsessed with the taste of victory and achievement, i seriously wish to use cheat code. Now, i'm proud of myself, i never win a game that really requires me to crack my brain and nerves. I feel good.

And i celebrated the victory by sharing it to everyone.

We definitely don't need any reason for party ;p

True love

2011-04-23T15:49:00.002+08:00

True love is when you add

- Companionship

- Grumpy

- PMS

- Calories

- Debt

- Adventure

- Argument

- Family

- Tear

and minus

- Condom

- Make-up

- 34C bikini

- Credit card

- Time on video games

- Condominium

- Car

- Certification

- Time available to meet each other

and still, you are in love with the person.

I always think true love is blind. In fact, for me now, true love is pure with nothing else in between it. I love you and that's all.

Hands

2011-03-26T21:59:00.003+08:00

Some dreams are beautiful because you never own it. You only have two hands that provide you limited space for your desires. So, think before you decide to take it on, as when it is time to let go, it is not as easy as you take it on.

You only have two hands. Despite having unlimited desires on almost everything, too bad, you can only own limited items. So, make sure what you own is your need, not accessories.

You only have two hands. Despite having unlimited desires on almost everything, too bad, some items are too heavy to be owned. Appreciate it. Love it. And you will soon realize that you don't have to mark your ownership on everything.

You only have two hands. Despite having unlimited desires on almost everything, too bad, some items are too expensive to be owned. Appreciate it. Love it. And you will soon realize that you don't have to mark your ownership on everything.

I always think that if i'm a millionaire and i have the money to buy everything, both needed and desired items. But how many you can buy? How many that you need to own in order to be satisfied?

If i love watching movie, am i suppose to buy the whole cinema or production company?

But i'm watching alone. Am i happy?

If i love taking picture, am i suppose to buy the best camera gadgets available?

But i can't take the picture that i saw with my eyes. I don't have the talent and skill?

If my beloved is suffering with deadly disease, am i suppose to buy the whole hospital and recruit the best doctors around?

But i still can't win this battle. What is fated, is fated. It is fate.

Sharing is caring. Some spend the entire life hunting for stars on the sky and ignore the fact that the scenery around you is as beautiful as stars on the sky. Why run alone so fast if there is someone around you to jog and chat with you? You can't own everything. Things that are not belong to you, let go. You might think you abandon your dream but you tend to ignore the fact that, you abandon pain and pressure of pursuing the unreachable.

I rather let my hands off than hanging on a cliff, if i know survival is almost impossible. You tried your best, no regret. Time to let go ;p

Scars

2011-03-17T21:24:00.003+08:00

Scars,

Deep cuts,

Memory of pain, despair, sadness and regret,

Final trophy for survival, owned only by the one that is strong, tough and determine to heal themselves.

Remedy for infinite bleeding.

Scars,

Ugly?

Hard to be ignored?

It is part of life, each scar represents a mark of development.

Like any badge, you earn it, deserve it, despite it isn't the repercussion you even dreamt of having.

But one day, you will eventually telling other the stories behind each badge, smiling while the images from the past flashed as you present it.

One thing for sure, no one will laugh at it. They will be your loyal fans, listen, envy and proud of your experience and achievement.

This is life ;p

Chords

2011-03-01T23:23:00.002+08:00

I came back from guitar lesson, and my hand is very very sore, thanks to certain chords. I'm getting better, i think, as days pass by and with more practices, i should be fine to perform on Sept 25 ;p

I experiment with my guitar a lot and it always lead me to random surprise discovery on how i can produce beautiful melody and familiar pop songs, accidently. Some notes are well played, perfect, when it is played individually. However, knowing enough foundation in music, i, no doubt, will explore more, by forming chords out of single notes.

Like it or not, some notes are just not mean to be played together. Yes, they are at their best when being played individually, but when played together, it seems to be weird and eerie.

Some notes, like it or not, are born to be grouped together (1, 3, 5 in notation usually form a perfect chord). Some notes are possible to be compatible with the normal notes in chord, and they form new chord, which only works on certain music piece. Some notes, however, just cannot be paired nor grouped, because, it extends human's finger limitation (You just can't press it, the distance is toooooooo far away. Impossible)

Some argue that they should just be like the norm, follow and search for the most compatible one to form the most typical pair. Some try to work hard, to prove that fairy- tales- happy ending is possible to be achieved. Success is possible with determination and perseverance, of course, with tears, sweats and bloods, perhaps, added into the recipe. Failure is due to inability to estimate themselves individually and as pair, as some doesn't really realize that they need to sacrifice more than what they might get in the end. Some just...... well, better as friend, usually due to 'over-familiarity' or being too logical that it is impossible and shouldn't waste time trying the impossible.

Me? Whether in relationship or guitar practice, putting effort to at least try is the crucial part. It is of course, easier to play simple typical chords. However, sometime you feel like playing advance chords that requires more practices and time, which i still determine to try. For the beautiful notes that never able to be together, it might sounds sad but certain things- you have to accept- are better to not be in group. Instead of forcing them to be together for a destructive and ear-piercing melody, why not choose to let them be what they are in the first place?

I know this fact well. And instead of thinking how to blend these perfect notes to be into an imperfect chord, i rather have them to be part of a music piece whereby their existence are significant not just as whole, but serves as complement for each other. ;p

Perception

2011-02-23T09:51:00.003+08:00

I asked Baby Henry to stare at the girl at the poolside from the dining table yesterday. (Ya, i'm indeed a bad influence, but better learn from a master now than a jerk in future that might teach him the wrong techniques). He seems to be confused, keep telling me that he only sees lights from the pool. I ignored him, continue with my stalking action. Being a babysitter for him since he was born, i definitely know that he should able to see what i see/ask him to see and he will definitely reply, unless he really can't see the same picture like what i'm staring at. Therefore, i sit down on the floor, leaning against the chair, and bend down, in order to replicate his position and height (Science students do experiments everyday, we (specifically, me ;p) only hate when we have to report and get grade based on that.

Ya, i understand why he can't see from that position. Easy enough, he is just too short. The coffee table is blocking the view, and the only view that was blocked is the girl. So, that explains why he can see everything but the girl.

Baby Henry, ignoring the fact that he is a damn naughty hyperactive brat, he is also my master. I grow as a better individual, while watching him growing and learning every single little skills and knowledges in life everyday. I guess i will definitely be a good dad in future, good predictable variable.

Many people only see things from their own angle and perceptive. Despite two individuals standing on the same position, the view that we will get can be very very very different. To make an assumption that everyone is like me and should think, feel and behave like me, basically is pure crap. (You think you are unique, so do others)

How many of us bother to spend time to listen, bend down and experiment, if the same situation happens to you? How many of us will even bother to think that maybe it is just happen that different people see the same picture from different height and angle, affecting the image that we actually see? But i'm sure, that most of us will make a conclusion that the other person should be blamed for this miscommunication.

Sometime, some advices are impossible to send out to. They just can't see. And, why are we blaming them for being in the blind spot? Despite how hard i want him to see the girl, unless we move away from that setting, it is almost impossible for him to see. He wants to see, just that he can't, and why put the blame on him? See from his perception, or else, like me, sit down with him, while both of us leaning against the chairs, and laughing at my own stupidity ;p

Fear

2011-02-16T22:06:00.003+08:00

I'm just so so lazy to blog and despite wanted to update my own blog regularly, eventually i will end up staring at my own blog, thinking of what to write.

On Monday, the Valentine Day, i had a dream. A trip that reminds me of a friend of mine, that I think I had neglected for quite a time. We are laying on the floor of my hometown's bedroom, laying casually and chatting (It is one of my hobby, i love to lie on the wooden floor, chat then take nap when we are done). I miss her, a lot and will miss her. Ya, i only start to appreciate things when there are no longer around me. I wake up from the dream, weep and the scenes from the dream bother me, really bother me.

My sister, being an almost-no-sentimental-value person, told me on the same day, that we tend to have fear to voice out things that we like and believe. Why? Fear of rejection? Fear of responsibility? Fear of unknown? Fear of change? I believe that the point that she wanna to make is instead of having fear on so many unknown, might as well you focus on the fear of losing freedom. It is lucky to have choice, and making choice suppose to be based on desire and preference, not through logical gain and risk mathematic formula. I begin to respect her.

Also on the same day, watching movie with my bunch of BFFs, realizing that it has been quite some time since we have this kind of outing. I enjoyed a lot, even i don't voice it out. And while hugging Stephie before she leaves to Australia, i seriously feel like crying. (I do cry, just that it takes me a lot of sentimental events, muster together, to make the tears roll out. I will miss you, Stephie!!!!

Well, combined with the series of events happen on a same day, i seriously start to think that, perhaps, the real fear that i'm afraid of is the fear of regret. It is true, I always think that there will be time in future to do, and the tendency to delay always overcome me. I might not agree with many of my daughter's decision, but i have to salute and give credit on her courage to be true and honest to herself. Ya, shame on me. I don't have.

Perhaps i shouldn't focus on the result. Perhaps i should ignore the fear. Perhaps i shouldn't calculate with the risk and gain formula. Perhaps sometime i should just close my eyes and brain, and just do it. Perhaps, sometime........ this time no sometime. Confession in one week time, for sure.

Male nowadays

2011-01-24T21:07:00.002+08:00

The reason i use the term 'male' is because, in my opinion, regardless male in any age or life stage, will eventually face this issue and i guess eventually every single male will eventually experience this. Therefore, i have no intention to play with so many different terms on one word that means the same point.

My room, shared with my sis, is flooded with Korean and Taiwanese male idols' posters and DVDs. They, when compared with me, are taller, knowing how to pose and smile well in order to charm innocent and fairy tales lovers. Ask my mom and expect nothing good from her. 'The foundation of make-up they put on their face is thicker than wall paint.' 'See his limbs, as thin as a refugee', 'Wear like female, wait, they know how to dress up better than your sis'. Well, i agreed. These feedbacks indirectly categorize me as a 'typical male'

Comments from my sis ' He is so handsome, bro. Wear like him and you kill all the girls in college.' 'Gosh, you see how he walk, talk and smile, learn la, bro.'

Feedbacks from me 'People make-up one. Ask him not to make-up and see. I sapu him flat flat'. 'He walked like a sissy with nothing in between his legs. I guess this is what happen when you wear skinny, very very skinny jeans all the time.'

Thanks to all these idols from almost- perfect but mean-to-con-kids dramas, at home, arrows of negative comments shoot accurately on me. My sisters, idols mati-susah-kipas (diehard fans) will try to make me as identical as their idols while my mom, despite suppose to be the opposition party, occasionally agree with them. This is what i have face at home. Life revolves around female, is not fun.

So, this is the dilemma. In one hand, your 'masters' (my mom and sis) are nagging everytime I wear t-shirt with jeans. Community in Malaysia, guys are good enough with jeans and t-shirt. No cardigan, gay-alike- short pants, pink shirt and scarf, to name some. And thanks to the invasion of boyish trend, which announced that it is ok for female to be like male, by wearing like me, having the same hair style like me, behave like me, and even talk and swear like me. DEI, people will say you cool, and say that i look like a girl. WTH?!

I just wonder why on earth they invaded the limited space for fashion for dudes? The space and market for female is sooooooooo infinite. Get back to where you are, please. I hate when my sis told me that a lesbian (usually they are either les or bi, assumption but based on facts and personal experiences) looks better than me. And ya, they eat our prey. (I won't blame them for indirectly making the population of female reduced, but they raised the standard of the guys nowadays)

So, don't complain and curse guys who are looking and trying to transform to 'beauty male'. It is for survival purpose. We used to compete with only male, but now with female. I guess we, the survivals, will eventually compete against pets in future. Wait, we are what. They appreciate cute dogs and cats, but not us. (Google-ing Shaolin Novice Monk Application Form now ;p)

So long, my ugly old but sweet backpack

2011-01-14T08:49:00.004+08:00

Ok, i have no intention to wake up so early as it is suppose to be my holiday. However, since i wake up, i decided to clear away junks that is well kept in my limited space. After some serious attempts of separating junks and goods, i experienced cognitive dissonance (go google it, psychology term)

I placed my backpack, my ugly backpack, under junks category. Ok, both side of the bag were completed stripped off in Bangkok and it is a miracle that its body can successfully transferred back to KL for funeral. In another hand, since i basically fix it and its performance will not be affected after the fixing, there is no reason for me to throw it away. However, this is the same bag that hurts my back and shoulder. I have to consume pills for weeks just to heal myself. But, i travelled around, despite being ugly, to everywhere.

This is the same old bag that i bring my overweight loads of laptop, speakers, documents during flash mob. This is the same old bag that i bring my laundry back to BG. This is the same old bag that i bring my limited textbooks and notes to college everyday. And this is the same old bag that i bring along, carrying my camera, mineral waters, towel, maps and everything tiny to my first ever travel, to Cambodia and Bangkok.

Battle between rational and emotion never ends. But, as human, we are suppose to think logically, based on evidences and facts.

Still, it remains as history, sweet memory. Whatever that has passed pass. Despite all the heartbreaks and tears, nothing can change the fact that it is time for it to retire (sounds better than being abandoned at trash bin) I agree that it might sounds cruel but if everyone remain the same and do no change, there is no chance for something better to get into your life. When it is time to let go, let go. Let it be a short term pain than a forever burden.

I love you, backpack....... that's why i choose not to make both of us feel bad.....

Sorry, you should leaving my life now. Other bag (hopefully Nike, but damn it is expensive ;p) might replace your position, but never the memories between us.

Announcement

2011-01-13T21:48:00.002+08:00

Give me some time. For those who know me, you will know that i hate being forced. So, don't bother to ask me who is my 'flower', i won't bother to provide answers nor hints. Will announce when i think it is the right time. I think she deserved to know first before anyone around me :D

The confession

2010-11-28T15:42:00.002+08:00

As i flipped through the photos that are long hidden in my external hard disk, i realized the transformation and growth on both outer and inner. Surprisingly, being a person that have thoughts and long term plans, i never imagine myself to be something like this (someone like now). Pictures of me before 18, during 18, after now, 21, reflected how mature (i mean my brain) i'm now. I no longer fancy on video games, no longer fancy on comic books, no longer fancy on going to theme park, no longer able to stay up so late or wake up so early just to watch cartoon, no longer beg and cry for mercy in order to get my toy.

Perhaps with the wings that attached on my back, allows me to fly, high and away from the typical life that i used to have. Therefore, the luxuries that i used to have, nowadays, for me, no longer excite me. But as you realized that you are flying away too long, being expose to storms and intense sun heat, you tend to look for a hideout, return to place where you used to hate, a typical way of spending a day. You start to hate surprise, like to wander through old memories and photos, prefer peaceful, re-enjoy silly and stupid stuffs that you used to do alone, or with your never-know-how-to-define-embarassing friends.

But, hey, as you keep proceed, it gets harder and further to U-turn and by the time you realized that you are tore out by attempting to get back to the starting point, you know that everyone left the starting point and it is impossible to rewind and pause at that desired moment. So, the first thing i learn after 21, like it or not, things change, keep moving.

I never good in words, despite trying to.
I'm pretty sentimental (occasionally), despite usually i freaked people out when i'm sentimental.

Many times, i hit or miss, celebrate and regret. Yet, as i keep walking, despite moving toward the unknown with fear and anxiety, i thanks every single individual and 'item', good, bad and ugly, that is with me, past, present and future.

Mom, i guess i really grow up, not just biologically ;p

I have this face

2010-11-12T22:17:00.002+08:00

I have this face, when chatting, people tend to laugh

I have this face, when chatting, people tend to share

I have this face, when i'm alone, people tend to approach and chat with me

I have this face, when i remain silent, people tend to think i try to act cool

I have this face, when i smile at the wrong time, people tend to think i'm playing trick on them

I have this face, when i try to be serious, people tend to think i'm angry

I have this face, when i'm being honest, people tend to think i'm lying

I have this interesting face.............. so, should i cancel my trip to Korea for plastic surgery next year? ;P

Birthday Wish list to be revealed!!!!!

2010-11-06T18:38:00.003+08:00

I hope that someone I know actually bother to think of buying something for me, and currently cracking heads and brains of what to get for me (A indication of me having at least some caring friends). Anyway, in order to save everyone's wallet and brain juice, I will announce that there will be no whatsoever birthday party by me. If you received news or info about me going to celebrate my 21th birthday like Merdaka celebration, at my house or club, sorry to inform you, but you kena conned ;p

Following are my birthday wish list, anyone from the list will do. In order to protect everyone's benefit, i will keep all the items in the list possible to be purchased.

1) Audi R8 ( Ok, ignore it. Even if anyone able to buy that for me, i can't even afford to pay for a full-tanked petrol)
2) 宇珩 latest album, only released at the mid of november (Get this one, cheap, easy, last long)
3) Iphone casing (I should get one as early as possible, but couldn't get a special one)
4) A backpack, a really big one (I think it is pretty much impossible to get one for me in a very special price *i know you guys punya price range* :P)
5) 'Dating a hot chick' for dummies, guide book

I really have everything i need, oh ya, perhaps we can go out for dinner, of course, I shouldn't pay for that meal. Please, typical food ya. I eat food, i don't feel full by looking at the environment ;p

(Hope that my hint is obvious enough for those who don't know what to buy for me. You see, i prefer things that is cheap, easy to choose from and last long) ;p

Energy

2010-11-05T14:47:00.004+08:00

To those who think that love is a the main fuel/main source of energy in life, this is something that you should read, reflect, and hopefully help you to recondition what love really means to you.

Assuming that love = biological energy for you. According to Helmholtz, energy has the ability to change forms, and despite changing form, the amount of energy remains the same in other form. For example, the amount of energy/love formed within your relationship with your partner, will transfer into another form, friendship, when the primary energy form changed. How? When you break up, you tend to spend more time with other friends, in order to replace the source of the energy, hence forming the same amount of energy/love in a different form, instead of couple relationship into friendship relationship.

To those who still remember secondary physics class, energy is almost impossible to destroy, it only remain static until it is triggered. For those who think that that's the end of the world when your relationship died, think again. Love/energy never dies. It just remain static, or in another form that you haven't pay attention to trigger it. So, find the right button, press on it to activate it again.

Since love/energy changed form all the time, you should be acknowledge that nothing in this world, including love, will remain at the same form forever. Energy/Love will eventually leak out and get weaken as it remain in the same form. Therefore, we should learn how to preserve energy/love, by allowing it to change form and leave it alone, instead of holding on it, and eventually dies off. Remember, if you believe love as if it is your life energy, you should believe the fact that love/energy never dies off completely, it just change form. In another word, give freedom for your loved one, and when a relationship ends, it doesn't end completely. It just changes form, and what you have to do next is to relocate the next form.

For me, i'm still charging my battery/energy now, but i know when and how to convert and transfer my energy to other sources. So, for others who are like me, you should never give up relocate the new form of your energy, or in my case, to start to shock someone!!!!!!! ;p

Lumix LX5

2010-10-19T13:00:00.003+08:00

Finally, a camera!!!!!! Taking photos is never a norm in my family culture but come one, good memories are mean to be keep and save. I'm a photographer now!!!!!!

Wasting time here

2010-10-04T22:10:00.004+08:00

People, update blog please. Don't be so lazy, can or not? I'm out of material to read online.

GOOD NEWS

2010-09-23T22:38:00.002+08:00

I finally in Grade 2 now. I take almost one year to reach there, but let it be, learning music suppose to be fun and casual. Finally something to cover the pain i feel for getting a summon ;p

Death

2010-08-24T20:19:00.002+08:00

I heard too many death news during this holiday, at least 5. To be honest, most of them are not directly related to me, for example, my dad's friend's dad and my aunt's dad, the relationship is too far, that the only time i met them, is through their smiling photo during the funeral. Surprisingly, you will feel depress and sad, at least during that short period of time, mainly due to the environment.

That's a saying, death can be as great as a mountain, or as light as a feather. Everyday someone dies, and eventually everyone will die. So, what's there to be sad of?

It was just moment ago when i went through an article that talked about Karen Woo, a volunteer and a doctor who was killed by the Taliban as she was being accused as American spy. She sacrificed her comfortable life in London, leave her job as a medical assistant as well as her fiance, who both of them will marry in two weeks time, after she was killed, alongside other doctors and local citizens.

Basically, this is just another sad yet frustrating news that happens everyday in life. So, what's there to be sad of?

I read her blog....... She expressed and stated her feelings and thoughts in details, which reflected how tough the life in war zone. (http://explorerkitteninafghanistan.blogspot.com/)

Her blog served as a mirror for reflection, on what I am. Honestly, i will never be working at such environment, despite being well paid (If i will ever being paid). Life is so short, so fragile, so simple, so unpredictable, and yet we have the tendency to make it luxury, complicated, wasteful, depress.

If there is anything that is in your mind that troubles you now, let it be simple. Life is just too short to be complicated.

If there is anything that is in your mind that holds you now, let is go. Life is just too short to be complicated.

Don't bring along all these problems back to the sky, as it will be your burden, making you heavier for your wings to fly back to heaven. Perseverance on such issues are futile, so why bother to let these hold you back. One might left, but others remain here. So, for those who we loved, proceed.

By the time i finished the first page on her blog, i cried......

丢了的自己，要记得捡回来……

2010-08-09T21:25:00.002+08:00

有时候，莫名的心情不好，不想和任何人说话，只想一个人静静的发呆
　　
有时候，突然觉得心情烦躁，看什么都觉得不舒服，心里闷的发慌，拼命想寻找一个出口。
　　
有时候，发现身边的人都不了解自己，面对着身边的人，突然觉得说不出话。
　　
有时候，感觉自己与世界格格不入，曾经一直坚持的东西一夜间面目全非。
　　
有时候，突然很想逃离现在的生活，想不顾一切收拾自己简单的行李去流浪。

有时候，别人突然对你说，我觉得你变了，然后自己开始百感交集。
　　
有时候，希望时间为自己停下，做完己还没来得及做的事情。
　　
有时候，想一个人躲起来脆弱，不愿别人看到自己的伤口。
　　
有时候，突然很想哭，却难过的哭不出来。
　　
有时候，夜深人静，突然觉得不是睡不着，而是固执地不想睡。
　　
有时候，走过熟悉的街角，看到熟悉的背影，突然就想起一个人的脸。
　　
有时候，明明自己心里有很多话要说，却不知道怎样表达。
　　
有时候，觉得自己拥有着整个世界，一瞬间却又觉得自己其实一无所有。
　　
真的只是有时候，明明自己身边很多朋友，却依然觉得孤单。
　　
有时候，很想放纵自己，希望自己痛痛快快歇斯底里地发一次疯。
　　
有时候，突然找不到自己，把自己丢的无影无踪。
　　
有时候，心里突然冒出一种厌倦的情绪，觉得自己很累很累。
　　
有时候，看不到自己未来的样子，迷茫的不知所措。
　　
有时候，发现自己一夜之间长大了。
　　
有时候，听到一首歌，就会突然想起一个人。
　　
有时候，希望能找个人好好疼爱自己，渴望一种安全感。可当那个可以疼你的人出现的时候，你却偏执地退隐。
　　
有时候，别人误解了自己有口无心的一句话，心里郁闷的发慌。
　　
有时候，被别人伤害，嘴上讲没事，其实心里难过的要死。
　　
有时候，常常在回忆里挣扎，有很多过去无法释怀。
　　
有时候，很容易感动别人的关怀，有时候却麻木地像个笨蛋。
　　
有时候，看着时间一点点流逝，任凭叹息，自己却无能为力。
　　
其实，有时候，真的会想这么多。　　
跟朋友装沉默，跟陌生人讲心里话。对于在乎你的，不想让他们担心，有时候，没有消息就是一种好消息。其实，很想说“我很好”，或许是昧着心说谎，也只是想把最灿烂的一面，放在每个人对自己印象的首页。
　　

Life is so unfair

2010-07-06T21:42:00.002+08:00

When you said, "Life is so unfair", what do you mean? You deserved better than what you got? But, can you recall the amount of times that you basically don't deserve what you obtain, and yet you got it miraculously?

Personal experience, I escaped too many presentations and exams with moderate and acceptable marks, which sometime make me feel bad. (See, human tend to be greedy). However, if there is such a balance scale to measure the effort and reward, to be honest, i don't deserved to get such 'high' marks. Well, just recall how many times you complete last minute assignments and last minute cramming, you will realized that in such situation, it is ok to have 'unfairness'

Another example, i believed that many of us will definitely ignore certain impossible-to-follow speed traps. (Speed traps and traffic lights are the only rules that i break all the time. Basically i think speed traps is a tool for policeman to get extra cash from inexperience or unlucky drivers). If everything is fair and square, i guess i will be working from now on just to pay all the summons.

Complaining about how unfair life is. Think again. The same 'unfairness' makes you get more than you deserve, sometime. ;p

Please count the amount of time i accidently step on land mines

2010-06-26T17:33:00.003+08:00

"Why do you think guys prefer to spend time on video games and car, instead on me?"

"Well, there are many reasons. Some of them might got be what you wanna know. I guess maybe it is just your boyfriend's innate preference to games and cars. Hey, i'm not like that..."

"Ya right, then why are you staring that the PS3 and discussing about the latest Audi R8 just now? Don't tell me it is just to inform me that you have deep general knowledge on everything"

"........ *smile*. Don't stare at me like that"

"Tell me then....... FASTER!!!!!!"

"Nah, you asked for it one aa...... Cos a video game and car won't get angry so fast"

*Silence*

"You asked for it one. That's why i don't wanna answer your question. Don't get angry la. Kidding only :D"

"And then........?? You said got many reasons, don't tell me this is the only one"

*Shallowing saliva*. "Fine, cos video games and cars are easy to control and predict. If you spend enough time with it, you will get the result you want. Not like dating, the amount of time and effort spent is not equivalent with the result and the 'sweetness' recieved. Sometime they just wanna a break, as long as he loves you, other is just extra" *wink*

"And then?"

"That's all. No more. You think i'm a love guru ah? ME= single for the last 21 years. If i'm so good with these stuffs, i won't be here 'dating' with you :D"

"Fine then, DATE with other!!!!"

Under one roof

2010-06-18T21:34:00.002+08:00

Things will turn bad and ugly as you get more familiar. To be honest, i think i have build a solid mental barrier and automatic elimination system thanks to what happen at the place where i'm staying. Seriously, i wanna move but with my fellow sufferer (my sis) is coming to join this ugly jail, it is kinda impossible to move. Guess i still have years, or best case scenario, months to suffer.

Well, when everyone is telling me how blissful and grateful that i should be as i'm staying with my uncle, i smiled. No comments, either good or bad. I do not wanna spoil the conversation by complaining on things that they should even bother to know. In certain situation, i have to admit that i'm a serious @$$hole that contribute nothing at home beside spreading the blur-ness and laziness virus to the rest of the family members. I have a nice excuse for myself of not being so deep into the family structure - i want to be independent.

I believe that each of us, though staying in a same house, is different individual that deserve privacy. Therefore, i react at such a way that i can successful withdraw whenever i want. Now, i'm being labelled as 'king of the house'

I believe that i'm mature enough to make certain decisions, especially when i'm the one that suppose to make decision. Therefore when i do without reference and agreement from everyone, now, i'm being labelled as 'the flying pigeon'

I believe that everyone deserve respect and therefore i speak a casual yet polite jokes- a.k.a the Edwardism Language. I spent at least 15 years talking in such manner and yet they still unable to retrieve relevant information from my lame statements. Therefore, i'm being labelled as ' the bullshit machine'

I always think that i can survive under such tough-for-mental- health situation (of course after complaining to my mom, my one and only audience). Now, it is a different stories. Getting more and more familiar with someone require you to see through their scars and dirty laundry, some which prove to be too hard to be covered with their strength. Guess now they see me as ugly as i see them.

Kids nowadays

2010-04-22T20:45:00.003+08:00

Almost everyday, at least 3 times a week, i was forced to 'accompany' my little wonderful baby Henry to the pool. It is a horrible experience, as that 'dude' literally dragged me into the room, forced me to dig out his hidden swimming trunk, scream loudly so everyone know that i'm go (so i can't run or hide, smart brat) and pull me all the way to the poolside.

Today is just another typical day, 'floating and sitting' inside the pool. The height of the pool (0.6m) is merely enough for me to hide every single part of my body beside head and shoulder (no free adv here) from these skin-piercing cold wind. Did i forget to mention on how cold the water is? So, whether you sit, swim or stand, it is just cold.

Everyone beside me is happy, swimming and splashing the damn cold water around, while as usual i'm hiding some around the corner, peeking. (On both the baby and the babes).

'Koko' (brother in cantanose)

'Whatever, you won't die in such height. Go make yourself happy and remember to tell me if you are cold or wanna pee'

He then approached this bunch of so-called cute foreign children, most of them around 5 (One Happy Family, btw, there is a damn cute with gorgeous eyes White and i almost bite my own tongue pronouncing her name)

'I will shoot you, monster!!!!!' . Two random boys, one malay and one indian aimed their water cannon, i repeat, cannon not gun, precisely on my head.

'Dei, i don't wanna get wet. Just stay away from me and play with someone around your age'

For those who studied Child Psychology, kids don't really understand your feeling, i mean for those who are younger. So, i guess you know what happen to me. ;p

I stood up, exposing myself to these cold wind, kicking and whacking the water, like a King-Kong, trying to scare them away and making myself wet. (Separuh basah lagi teruk, btw, i wear boxer to pool today, so it is like ....... Dam...... cooling.

'Run, uncle wanna catch us!!!!!!'

'Kick the uncle's butt!!!!!'

........
.......
......
.....
....
...
..
.

Uncle?!

For the next 20 minutes, i just hope that baby Henry will drown and then form a phobia, phobia of swimming in a pool.

Love is blind

2010-04-19T15:10:00.003+08:00

Love need no reason. That's why people said love is blind. If you have to measure and think of pros and cons of something you like and hesitate, even for one short moment, well....... you have the answer ;p

Theories for my tummy

2010-04-14T21:20:00.003+08:00

It become a fact in Wikipedia that i consumed large amount of food everyday. But, this 'trend' is getting worse now. See, when you are paying for your own food all the time and you are living in the area whereby the price of the F & B can poke a big hole at your wallet, i think i should be making some serious consideration on whether what happen to my 'bottemless' tummy? 10 things that might happen to me now, i mean my tummy. (I had my dinner around 8, snack at 9 and 'tong sui' as i'm blogging ;p)

1) Reaching adolescence stage again. That's why i need extra energy, and therefore extra food.
2) There is a big hole in my stomach. Foods are leaking from that hole, and it is assumed that i don't eat. Yet, i should poo poo alot, which surprisingly i am not.
3)Hyperactive gastric juice in my gastric which increase the digestion, making me feel hungry very very fast.
4)Pregnant. According to my textbook, pregnancy might make someone hungry. But i'm a guy, more important, i'm a virgin.
5)Slow reaction from hormones. They are unable to detect glucose, sending the impulses to brain that 'this dude' suppose to be hungry.
6)Temptation of food is beyond my control.
7)I have 4 tummies, like a cow and rabbit. More space to fill to feel full.
8)I'm just born abnormal, should consult a pro to scan through my tummy.
9)Addiction to food. Like smoking and drug, at least something should be inside my mouth anytime anyway.
10)High metabolism level. I believe 90% of my energy is used on crapping and hunting for hot chicks, creating serious loss of glucose to other organs. Therefore, more food to get more energy.

.......... SHOUT LOUD!!!!!!

2010-04-12T22:27:00.002+08:00

FUCKER, NEXT TIME FOLLOW THE RULES AND REGULATION. I DON'T KNOW WHETHER OR NOT YOU ARE GOING TO PASS THIS SUBJECT, BUT THANKS TO YOU, I NEED TO SCORE EXTREMELY HIGH FOR MY FINAL. BITCHES, IF I FAILED, I SWEAR I WILL MAKE YOU DIE ALONGSIDE WITH ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(I always have problem trusting people, now it is getting worse)

Nobody understand you

2010-03-31T23:57:00.003+08:00

I heard and saw millions of people stating that 'Nobody understand me'. Funny, these are the people that are hunger for a pair of ears, so that they can vomit out everything out. Yet, these are also the same bunch of people that keep ignoring and denying the fact that they have unsolved problems, when someone offers and wish to unlock the wired issues. But, these are the same people that assuming and hoping someone will understand them without any sort of verbal communication.

Ironic ya? ;P

On one side, you don't wanna chat or disclose, but on another side, you wish that someone will listen to you, lend you their ears and shoulders. Basically, nobody- including yourself- understand you. People can't read your mind, obviously, especially when you can't read your own mind. True friends are someone you can share everything, good bad and ugly, with but that only if you wanna share. If you don't bother to share and voice it out, no point having bunch of true friends around you. Same, still nobody understand you

2012 in progress

2010-03-25T22:19:00.002+08:00

Today, i witnessed something that doesn't sound logical. Come one, heavy thunder when the sky is still bright, storm with tiny ice cubes, that knocked my lovely car and trees and plants lying around the streets and on vehicles. Just imagine yourself in 2012 movie scene, and trust me, part of it is fun and exciting, another part, well, nothing is impossible.

Well, if tropical countries like Malaysia can have hail storm, i bet we can started to expect more and more disasters coming to hit us. Earth, the only habitat, is turning into living hell, thanks to us, so-called the smartest living being, so-called the ruler of this planet.

I have no idea whether 2012 will be our doomsday, yet i have no difficulties to imagine what happen 2 years from now. I will be another typical supporting actor like in the '2012' movie, running and screaming around before killed by a 'flying' trunk, and i'm absolutely fine with it. I don't expect myself to be living past 70 years old.

Guess, i should take life more serious now. Cincai kira, assuming 2012 is true, I (we) will have another 2 years time before everything reformat. Time to do something that is significant to community, those who i know and definitely to myself. At least, i don't waste my remaining time and only crying, regretting and yet, stay static, planning everything but do nothing.

Gigolo-going-to- be

2010-03-18T23:30:00.003+08:00

Thanks to the event, i'm chatting with everyone in my FB friends list as if i know them for ages. Dammit, i feel like i'm a gigolo, spending time and effort to start a conversation with my customers for money/intention. And the funniest part, i thought she was A, realizing that she is B after 1 hour of ice-breaking (trying to be as if we are very close) sessions. Shit!!!!!

Second type, basically ignore me, or linking my conversation to all the previous memories, i mean bad one. All of a sudden, i become a jerk to them. I feel like i'm an insurance agent, trying to hard sell and promote my ideas and products (which is partly true). Gosh, it is so embarrassing, especially when she said 'Dear' and 'Let's go out for dinner one day'. Holy cow, i'm a gigolo now!!!!!!

(p/s - i never realized that i have the ability to chat with strangers on random stuff. Guess that is the lesson one in 'How to tackle a girl, For dummies, nerds and introverts'. Should apply this technique in clubs and pubs, not to beg people to join my event ;p)

射手座の男生 (Stereotype on Sagittarius)

2010-03-16T22:46:00.004+08:00

p/s (The title is The Sagittarius Guys, i always think that most zodiac review have labeled sag. guys as playboy, which obviously those who i know including me, are not. However, i have to say that i agreed with most of the part in this articles, beside the playboy part ;p)

射手座的男人兴趣很多，涉猎很广泛，但恐怕每一样都不会研究得很彻底。正因为他的兴趣广泛，跟很多人都可能有交集，因此他会有许多不同类型的朋友。有的朋友陪他聊政治，有的陪他打球，有的跟他一块作生意。他很忙，很少有射手座的男人会给人一种闲着没事做的感觉。尤其当他突然对什么新鲜事物发生兴趣的时侯，可能全心投入好一阵子，其它的事情（包括你）全被暂时抛在脑后去了。

　　当你刚开始跟一位射手座男人交往时，会有一段蜜月期——你是最让他感兴趣的人。之后，你是否能让他保持热度，就得看你的本事了，因为让一个射手座的男人把心思长期专注于谈情说爱上，的确是很困难的事。

　　他是个绝对的乐观主义，心中有无数远大的理想，却经常容易忽略眼前的问题，因此常在加速向前冲的时侯，一不小心就栽到水沟里去了，在他身边的女人偶尔提醒一下他的粗心是很好的，但如果在他对你高谈阔论他远大计划时，泼他一盆冷水，那就真是让他讨厌极了。其实，你真的不必太过担之他的“安危”，因为乐观的射手座男子，并不容易被一些小挫败击倒，反而事实的教训会帮助他成长，让他下一次小心点。

　　很多射手座的男人都有点“不信邪”，当你严厉的告诉他什么事不可行的时侯，他却偏要试一下才甘心。我不知道你碰到这种情况了没有？如果有，请千万不要落井下石，在旁边说风凉话，你当心他会恼羞成怒哦！最好换一种方式，你可以说：“你做的比我原先预计的好多了，你真有一套！下一次只要把…改一下，保证万无一失。”

　　他肯定会觉得你太够意思，太了解他了。射手座的男人很少真的觉得沮丧。万一不幸发生这种情况，当然就是你表现的时侯啰！

　　很多人说射手座的男人花心，其实我倒觉得应该说他是很喜欢跟很多女人真心交往，花言巧语的欺骗不是他的方法。(Ya, true, if i'm a playboy, i won't be single for 20 years) 前面我就说过，他是很容易与人发生交集的，对女生当然也是一样，一旦他感觉跟某个女生有些投契的地方，他就会很愉快，很真诚的付出他的友谊和感情。其实射手座的男人愈成熟，就愈希望找到一个真正与他心灵相投的伴侣，只可惜他们多半都不是细细观察，慢慢投入的类型，因此总是很容易开始，很容易失望，于是很容易结束，射手座的男人很少会存心始乱终弃的。(overgeneralized)

　　就像是一壸茶倒满了很多杯子，你能说哪一杯不是茶吗？对每一个人他都很真诚，如想要真正拥有他，只有把自己变成个超级大杯子，让他把所有的茶全倒进来啰！

　　首先，你要兴致勃勃的听他说远大的计划，偶尔提醒他一些细节，让他惊讶你的智能。

　　第二，你要会陪他玩，多数射手座男子对户外运动都很有兴趣，当他带你去参加社交场合时，千万别摆张老k脸。

　　第三，射手座男人很爱跟朋友辩论，你要很感兴趣的听，然后在适当时机帮个腔，使他理论立于不败之地。更重要的是，千万不要限制他的自由。对于多数射手座的男人来说，自由是他们的宝贝，“不自由毋宁死”，他爱你是真的，愿意和你厮守终生也是真的，但是他不会因此放弃他追求自由的权利。射手座的男人，绝不是可以被拴在腰带上的丈夫，这一点你一定不要忘记。

　　射手座的男往往不会详细的向你报告行踪，尤其是事前，他更不会一副征求你批准的态度。如果你东问西问，他很有翻脸的可能。

　　你愈给他自由，他愈坦白。(It happens to everyone)

　　有时侯射手座男人的直率也会让人有点受不了，他的直肠子有时会伤你的心，有时会让你下不了台。如果想要愉快的相处，你必须学习适应，而且欣赏他不会拐弯的坦率性格。(true, ..... and sorry)

　　当然你也有自由发展你的世界。他通常忙碌的没时间去限制你。想要欺瞒一个射手座的男人，是件很容易的事，但是如果让他发现，将会造成无法弥补的裂痕， “真诚”是他最重视的相处之道。他会尊重你的自由一如尊重他己的一样，你会有很大的空间发挥自己的事业和兴趣。但是我仍然建议你多方面尽量配合他，否则他什么时侯掉进了别人的情网你都不知道！

Behind the scene

2010-03-10T21:58:00.002+08:00

I just don't understand why everyone is working so hard, always trying to be the best and sacrifice everything in life to reach the top of the mountain. Is that so pathetic to be second or the unknown one? Once, my friend told me ' If everyone is going to be the next leader, then who is the follower? ' . My own version, 'If everyone is going to be rich, then everything will be freaking expensive'.

I received a offer to lead a team in a newly developed company from Singapore. It may sounds interesting, a once in a life time offer, but for me, i can imagine the scenes of me doing unlimited works, 'shot' by various bosses for various reasons, leading a team that i barely know, unable to balance between study and working, and worst, lost my precious and also one in a life time college sweet memories. Come on, college student is about doing ass last minute, hunting girls, eating all the time and cam-whoring.

I'm always a good tactician, never a good general or emperor. Ya, it is true that no one really knows those who worked behind the scene, but thanks to them, the performers can perform without burden and worry. Besides, i only know that generals and emperors were hunted during invasion, but not tactician. And guess what, even these so-called generals and emperors begged for tactician's advices and assists. Between life and honor, i choose life.

See, if everyone have this perception, able to be the second, or those who are hidden, there will be less competitions, less arguments, less frictions, less wars, less complains, less problems and definitely less pressure. Why not? ;p

Self-esteem calculation table

2010-02-05T16:12:00.006+08:00

Self esteem depends on your own self concept. In another word, what you care and what you matter most, when you are good at it, you feel good (boost self-esteem/confidence). Vice versa, if you are bad in things that you think it is important, you think you sucks (low self esteem/confidence). Easy ;p

Some living and pass example (P/S - Self esteem = SE, tired of repeating the same words again and again)

Bill Gates

Dropout from Harvard	Unimportant	SE remains the same
Sense of Achievement for conning Asian to get addicted to Window	DAMN Important	SE shoots high!!!!!!
Million- worth of donation	Too many to spend, not bother	SE remains high
Look like nerd	Who bothers when you have $$$	SE remains high

Conclusion = SE high

Albert Einstein

Hair-style	Pioneer to Korean idols (Referring to Boys Over Flower main actors). Yet, not important	SE= Don’t know. Well, I don’t think he even bother styling your hair since you will end up messing your hair when you do math.
Nobel Prize Winner	Duh, this is a dreamland for any scientists. Important!!!	SE= High, very very high
E= MC²	I spent 3 months on this during Form 5 physics class. It is must be hard for him to develop this. Important!!!	SE= High + High = So high (It is not what you think it is)
Money	Nah, he has all the fame and books he ever dreamt of.	Not important. SE remains so high.

Conclusion = SE high

Tiger Woods

Currently World No. 1 golfer	Important, but nothing compared to his wife. Not important now.	SE= fairly low
Affairs!!!!!	I would be happy if I’m him. But, to him, it is no longer something to be proud of now. Not important	SE= very low (a.k.a Low V, I’m trying to be lame)
Career Break	That’s the K.O punch, to complete the final part of the misery. Very important	SE= L.O.W (He is bad in things that he matters most)
Money	I guess money is the fuel for all these affairs. So, important to both me and Woods. (Once your wife returns, you will resume your routine, then you’ll need back all your money)	SE= Low, but below fairly low, above Low V

Conclusion = SE low

Edward Chan Waihong

Any random achievements and awards	You mean kindergarten’s top student award? That’s important	SE= High (I can only obtain my sense of pride via expired awards)
Shopping	Look at all the ‘prizes’ in my wardrobe and I bet that can make thousands of girls scream!!!	SE = Very high
College Performance	No comment	SE= High (Dropped a bit)
Money	……… Cukup cukup pakai	SE = Neutral (Dropped again)

Conclusion = SE neutral

See the table above, it is really depends on your personal opinion whether or not you think you are good. Don’t just look at things that you are sucks in. Explore fields that you are unique and good with. Now, stand up (beware, don’t hit on your com) and be proud of yourself. ;p

The art of procrastination

2010-02-03T22:31:00.002+08:00

I finally got my 2010 planner. I spent almost 2 months hunting for a right one. The reason i finally make my mind to buy this planner is because it is specially design for procrastinator, i mean myself ;p

Some of the nice quotations in my planner which i think it is very true, making me feel proud to be a procrastinator.

1)Most people procrastinate; others are just lying.

2)Procrastination is not genetic; you need to practice to become good at it.

3)If life is short, a long task list seems quite silly.

4)WARNING: Finishing every item on your-to-do list can cause boredom, disorientation and emptiness.

5)Work is like exercise, it is best to start slow.

6)Work is inevitable, why rush to get to it?

7)Never refer to yourself as a procrastinator; You are only a thoughtful plotter.

8)Experts say procrastination can lead to stress, depression and misery. Work causes the same things but quicker.

9)Articles condemning procrastination are written by overworked people who are jealous of procrastinators.

10)Procrastination is the art of relaxing in the face of adversity.

Nothing is Impossible

2010-02-01T21:03:00.002+08:00

'I'm so afraid of my daughter. When I knew that she is dating with a guy that is 6 years older than her, i called her straight away. She told me that her boyfriend is currently working, someone that she can communicate and depends on. Well, i used to tell her that study first, dating last. But it seem like when the feeling is there, nothing you can do to stop it. How about you, Waihong? Still single?'

Chatting with my mom's friend is like announcing a formal news in press conference. ' Well, can't get the right one'. My mom smiled.

'Don't be so picky, handsome. But it is better not to date when you are studying. My god, i just hope that she don't get pregnant so soon. You know, teens nowadays.'

'It depends. You can stand tough on your own choice. If you don't want, nothing can make you change your mind but yourself.' I said.

'As if you won't. That's because you haven't get one girl that you love and she is sitting on a bed' She is sure an open-minded mom. I never think of it (though it is not a convincing fact.). I always think that i can withstand such seduction until she asked me that question. Now, nothing is impossible.

'Time to go, boy' My mom smiled and waited me at the car. ;p

LCLY?? NOPE!!!!

2010-01-28T01:09:00.004+08:00

When i think of posting a message in FB, asking everyone to come to my house on the first day of CNY, all of the sudden, i realized that i might have half of the visitors that i barely know, coming to my house for angpau's'. I'm not trying to save my mom's money but i take this as gathering, not invasion.

Imagine 40 people come to your house on that day and 20 of them are your 'hi hi by bye' friends (shouldn't hi and bye randomly to people that smiled at me in school corridors) which you barely remember their name. To be honest, i will rather set a gathering in random mamak stall and then well, you are free to invade and destroy the whole stall.(It is included in the bill)

Perhaps, i will just pass the message via SMS, email or blog

Btw, do i sounds LCLY??? I just don't wanna spend my first day of CNY cleaning the mess. Selfish is the best appliable trait, especially when you are busy. Sorry...

(P/s : To those who read my blog, you are the special one. So, dont worry, Loki, you are definitely in my visitor list. IT IS DAMN STRONGLY RECOMMANDED TO BRING ALONG YOUR GIRLFRIEND ;p)

Long long journey starts from after the first step

2010-01-22T23:21:00.005+08:00

I think i finally able to play a simple song with my always-out-of-tune guitar. Nothing much to proud of especially when most of the expert and avid players will say 'Playing 4 chords, and most of the chords are sound the same. There is still long way to go".

I know that fact, and it is true. Nothing much to be ashamed by the fact i'm still a noob, actually i'm happy that at least someone realized that i'm hitting on 4 chords, though they sound the same.

The pressures and stresses that we face everyday, mostly are due to the acknowledge that we are being judged and observed. In certain cases, we are just being too sensitive, moreover, whatever actions and things that you do, there will definitely someone that votes for the opposition side. Like what we learn in psychic, there is always an opposite force behind any moving object. That's how things are on balance.

It will take another 2 months for me to master the new song and i'm delighted with my current pace. AT LEAST, i haven't have the intention to give up. Gambatte, Edward ;p (Desperate for mental support)

2010-01-12T00:09:00.002+08:00

What a shame!!! I can't even be honest in my own personal virtual space. Guess i need another channel to voice out. So sad

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!

2010-01-01T01:53:00.004+08:00

New year resolution?

Just stick and work on things that unable to complete in 2009.

Having too many items in my list-to-do is slowing me now :D

Wooooooooo

2009-12-29T03:03:00.002+08:00

All people are born with vampire genes

Evidence??

1)People nowadays sleep less, sleep very late at night, more active at night compared to day, which is not suppose to be a natural habit for human. That's why they look pale (like vampire)

2)People nowadays hate sunlight. Forget about sunlight and vitamin D, just stop any ladies around the mall and ask them how many layer of sunblock lotion and long sleeve shirts they wear before they expose to sunlight.

3)People nowadays take extreme make-up to cover their flaws. Due to evidence #1, people that sleep late look like one, therefore putting thick make-up on their face is hard to serve the purpose to cover up the flaws. It actually makes you look more pale.

4)People nowadays just love to see blood. Without blood scenes, who will bother to watch? Pure violent.

5)People nowadays look like vampire (including me). They wear black glasses indoor (vampires hate sunlight, even dim lights inside shopping mall), wear black skinny clothes and jeans (to portrait how slim they are, yo, vampires are skinny. Maybe i just haven't meet a fat vampire yet), hide at the dark corner, avoid onion and cross (well, there are people that patiently separate onion from the rest of the topping in pizza)

6)People nowadays sleep in a 'coffin', i mean, small area. Houses in KL is as expensive as other big metropolitan, however, the salary remains at the third world standard.

7)People nowadays avoid mirror. I'm not sure whether or not they are afraid of their own physical appearance (people do afraid of black pores and aches, which is way smaller than us). Another example, drivers. How often they realized that there is a car beside or behind them. Therefore, besides brakes, the second most frequently item pressed in a car will be your honk.

8)People nowadays are fantasize to be a vampire. Just look at how popular that Edward Cullen is. I believe that fans know more about Edward Cullen than their parents who are with them since birth.

Nature or nurture, fact or fiction, we will see more and more going-to-be vampires pop out and i think, according to evidence #1, #4 and #6, i'm may also be the part of the big family. I hope i will able to bite a hot chick, instead of a piece of cholesterol ;p

Noticification

2009-12-20T11:31:00.002+08:00

I'm quite done with my shopping(Yesterday). By tomorrow, i should be back at BG. For those who wanna hunt and locate me, I should be back on Christmas. Any activities after Christmas are encouraged!!!! MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!! (Blog may closed for public holidays)

LOKI!!!!!!!!!

2009-12-11T10:23:00.001+08:00

Im waiting for u to announce something that is kinda obvious :D. Finally a victim adopted this lonely sheep :D

Sheep

2009-12-07T13:37:00.003+08:00

There is once a sheep, that spends its whole life being in a farm. Its life is fairly 'peaceful', it is well protected from the wolves, too young to be slaughter for money and still waiting for the time to grow wool. Complains and desire to leave the farm still occur even living under such cozy and peaceful atmosphere.

One day, the gate that used to lock all the domestic animals is unlocked (the owner forgets to lock it). All of the sudden, it is a dream comes true for all the animals in the farm. However, when given chance, it seem like they have more repercussions to consider.

" I can't fly away if someone tried to catch me outside ", said the hen. "Maybe staying in the farm and lay eggs suits me better, at least i can able to survive alongside with my chicks "

" If i were leave the farm, i will lead straight to the oven " said the turkey. " Maybe staying in the farm is better, at least i don't get roasted during Christmas "

" I'm too huge and heavy to run away. I might not even able to pass the fences " said the cow. " Maybe staying here is better, at least i have a field of green grass for me "

.......

Time for the sheep to make decision. Going out is it's biggest dream and now it is a dream comes true. Freedom is, of course, the top priority but the sheep is also considering all the cons when it leaves the farm.

Leaving the comfort zone takes more than just courage and dream. How would the sheep do to make sure survival? It will exposed to more danger, not just wolves, but also from the villagers and also their cars. Kids may throw pebbles on it whenever they see it walking through. It may steps on booby traps, set by the villagers.

Considering that, the sheep makes it's decision. " I will stay with the rest, it is way more dangerous being outside than here"

Two days later, all the animals are all slaughtered as the owner sells the farm to a developer who plans to build a resort. The owner plans to release all these animals right after he sold his farm since the developer doesn't want to keep the animal anyway. Due to their uncertainty, all of the animals end up being at 'paradise' now :D

Beside learned helplessness (refer to google.com for more info, i don't feel like explaining the term), thinking too much will bring no good. It is true that there are more obstacles that you have to face once u leave the comfort zone, but if you going to be 'slaughtered' anyway (come one, all the animals in the farm will be slaughtered eventually. this is not a fairy tale with a happy ending), why don't just leave the frying pan first? Whether or not you will end up at the stove or the floor, that is a different problem to solve.

Don't be afraid of the cons that you can imagine. There are dangers in anything that you are doing. Worrying too much doesn't help. When the opportunity is there, muster all your courage and jump out from where you are. You never know until you try ;p

True true true

2009-12-02T22:10:00.000+08:00

Does your name begin with: E

Your greatest need is to talk. If your date is not a good listener, you have trouble relating. A person must be intellectually stimulating or you are not interested sexually. You need a friend for a lover and a companion. You hate disharmony and disruption, but you do enjoy a good argument once in a while-it seems to stir things up. You flirt a lot, for the challenge is more important. But once you give your heart away, you are uncompromisingly loyal. You will fall asleep with a good book. Sometimes, in fact, you prefer a good book to a lover)

from http://www.anvari.org/fun/Truth/What_Your_Initial_Stands_For.html

War before holy-day

2009-12-02T21:40:00.002+08:00

Homesick now. This is what happen when you enjoyed a brilliant and tension-free holiday before you return to the battlefield. Hang on, almost end. The war almost end

Psychology is tough, really tough

2009-11-11T21:37:00.002+08:00

I may not score good grades in Psychology course, but I definitely learn how to be better person in the end of the course.

Tearless

2009-11-07T10:08:00.003+08:00

I realized that i have extremely high EQ. Is that a good thing? The high capability to suppress my emotion end up piercing myself. I thought i will care about the damages done. Maybe i learned helplessness.

For my 201 groupmates, i dont know whether or not i should trust anyone of you to work on the same objective. Still, i will remain inside the group, at least to make sure we go through the experiment. If anyone of you don't bother to work, or just show passion that is obviously fake, tell me ahead. Since i have done so many, i don't mind finishing the remaining. Don't worry, you won't be labelled as social loafer. Im too tired and not bother to go through such procedures.

Just be 100% on what you suppose to be

2009-11-05T17:02:00.003+08:00

If you are a snake, don't bother to fly like a dragon. Just crawl. You will end up falling hard.

If you are a dragon, don't bother to crawl like a snake. Just fly. You will end up being a snake.

10 bucks

2009-10-28T01:22:00.002+08:00

'I have ten bucks left in my wallet now.'

'I still have ten bucks left in my wallet now.'

Sounds alike?

The word 'still' makes all the difference. It symbolizes hope and expectation.

So, if you are in such deep sh*t, well you are still alive. There are always other sh*t that is worse than you, and you obviously know that you don't wanna be into it.

Btw, i really have ten bucks in my wallet, only. Ten bucks is always better than one bucks, ya ;p

Holes in Heart (From an article that i read)

2009-10-21T21:41:00.003+08:00

There is a boy that couldn't control his temper. Everytime, he gets mad, he tend to use harsh and hurtful words on others scolding other as if they offense him. Realizing this problem, the child's dad teach him a way to eliminate his anger. He asks his son to hit a nail on the wooden wall everytime he wanna release his temper, according to his dad, hitting the nail is as 'pleasurable' as scolding others.

His son follows his dad's advice. Everytime he gets furious, he hit a nail on the wooden wall. Eventually, he realized that he is able to control his temper as he able to release all this frustration by hitting the nail, really hard, on the wall.

As days go by, the wooden wall is covered by hundreds of nails, indicating how often his son get mad, even on small and minor matters. His son is ashamed and begs his dad to enlighten him on how he can control his temper.

His dad is glad with his son's confession and asks him to remove a nail everytime he is able to suppress his anger. He follows. As days go by and the all of the nails are removed from the wooden wall, he runs toward his dad, expressing his 'achievement' and 'victory' over his bad temper.

'Go and take a look of the wooden wall'. The son realized that there are many holes on the wall. 'You may have removed all the nails that were on the wall, but as the repercussion, these leave the "innocent" wall nothing but holes. Like your words, you may express all these harsh and hurtful words to make yourself feel better but for the listeners, it pierced a hole in their heart. It is pointless to say sorry after committing such damage to your beloved one'

Just for your own sake and pleasure, you end up hurting someone. This action is equally to abusing your loved one physically to make you feel better. Once the hole is there, it is a tough job to fix it. There are many ways to express what you dislike, but hurting them verbally will only make it worse ;p

' You shouldn't commit what you dislike to others. Others will commit what they dislike to you, in return; Unless you like what they don't like, otherwise this war never ends'

Time to sleep, to worse

2009-09-14T01:17:00.002+08:00

I realized that most of my posts are kinda long-written.

Time to change....

............ *yawn*
i saw blood veins inside my eyeballs. Going to explode soon, time to sleep.

Thanks *bow*

(This will definitely be the shortest posts even made ;P)

Too fast

2009-09-09T22:39:00.004+08:00

This is what happens when you are so hectic at morning, all of the sudden, i realized that i suppose to be busy............

But what should i do???

There is always a reason when someone asked you not to be too busy and neglect things around you. The reason is when you stopped after you are tired, you realized that you are way ahead of other, and you are all alone, far far away from those that you know. You are in a deserted, isolated so-called dreamland, the destination that you had been always wanna to be.

I'm not born to be an excellent new environment adapter. It may takes some time for me to change mode. But it is not the first time, i used to and used to it.

I will wait, don't worry. Take your time and i will be waiting here.

How to be your parents' good boy?

2009-08-21T13:34:00.002+08:00

If you know that your parents have a large amount of money, saved inside the bank for future retirement plan and you wish to withdraw it to buy the latest iphone (sorry, watch too much of chinese drama during holidays) or,

If you wanna get a new pair of shoes and you know your mom will rather buy more vegetables and let it rotten inside the fridge instead of getting you one or,

If you just wanna show and surprise your dad in order for you to go out and 'yum cha' till the mamak stall owner begs to shuu you away

This is what you need to do to erase all your bad record and reinstall good memory into your poor parents

STEP 1 = ONLY DO THE HOUSECHORES OCCANSIANALY

If you are those who do the housechores all the time at home, you will definetely wondering why your big bro get all the credit when he only wash one plate after he finish his meal. (For example, me :P)

Reason? Easy, same situation like when you give presents to your partner. If you give them presents on every single important day, eg, birthday, valentine, graduation, every 100 days, every months which basically kinda predictable, try not to give a present on one of the month if you are those who give presents every month. Chances are, good luck dude. Your partner will be expecting that and when they expect and dont recieve, your ears will need some extra barrier to block the complains.

So, if you usually do not do the housechores and suddenly unpredictablely (Is there such word??) you do things that you hate alot. This once in a blue moon 'holy ritual' will be stamped into your parents' memory.

STEP 2= ONLY DO IT WHEN THERE IS AN AUDIENCE

What the point of acting on the stage if there is no one watching it. Like any celebrities, they dont need to act how charming and lovely and cute they are all the time. What they need to do it is just pose and smile everytime the legion of fans and cameras occur. Thats enough to show everyone how charming, lovely and cute (since fans are basically think that celebrities do not act in public, they assume that the celebrites are like what they see on the stage all the time :P)

STEP 3= ONLY DO IT DURING DESPERATED/SPECIAL TIME

This works very well during festival days, whereby tons of 'visitors' come and invade your small habitat. Do what you are good at (ACTING LO, DUH) in front of the audience (FOLLOW STEP 2)and act like you help your parents alot since they will be tooooooo busy with other stuffs, your 'kindness' is very appreciated.

STEP 4= ONLY DO IT IF YOU KNOW/CONFIDENT IN DOING IT

If you are one of the freaking lazy and dumb sloth that never even been to the kitchen to cook a instant noodle, chances are you going to burn the whole kitchen and your pet the moment you touch the stove. My advise, dont do thing that you are not familiar with. Try to do things that looks and is easy eg, washing toilet and mopping floor. For sloths, such 'workload' can be consider as magnificant. You can still play inside the kicthen, but only under your mom survillence. You can act as if you wanna learn how to cook. Your mom will definitely hug and kiss you unless this is not the first time you use this trick. Also, since you dont always 'work', please beware that any major mistake will also be stamped along in your parents head. You wouldnt want your parents to ask you not to sweep the floor cos you broke the broom and accidently poke your little innonnce sis as you are sweeping.

STEP 5= ONLY DO IT WHEN YOU PROMISED

Like STEP 1, you dont need to do any housechores all the time, so if you really wanna prove to your parents that you have change so they can get you PS3, promise them that you will do (fill in the blank) during (fill in the blank). This gives you more time to expect what you are going to do and time for your audience to watch. After you have done as you have promised, the next time when you were asked to do the same thing and if you decline, there is another additional excuse for you (I dont promise you to do that wat, so it is ok for me not to do)

This is kinda classical conditioning, forming a certain pattern which eventually your parents know that you can be depend on and also will do what they ask you to do, after passing through certain 'stimulus' :P

(I really feel sorry for the parents, volunteering is just not inside their kids' genes)

The Feeling, F E E L!!!!!!

2009-07-30T20:43:00.002+08:00

When you watched singing competition, the most famous/ frequent dialogoue from the judges will be ' You have a wonderful vocal but lack of feeling'. ' Your singing is not touching enough'. 'You sing as if you are a device, design to sing according to the notes and lyric'

When you watched a movie, many of us will critic that the actor is lack of feeling. His/her performance especially during crying/ someone died is so fake, the face is so numb, like no feeling and emotion.

In psychology, such emotion/feeling is equal to empathy. You are able to feel what other feel. For example, in a movie, when your 'dog' (i dont want to focus on any of my relatives) died, unless you really have a dog that died and you remember the current emotion/feeling, it is really hard to imagine. Thats the reason many actors get mad after acting in certain movie. They are obssessed and couldn't escape from the cast. Especially western movie, whereby CG took at least 50% of the whole scene, basically you are acting in front of a green background. Imagine how idiot Harry Porter and Megan Fox acting, talking to the 'invisible' character in front of the shooting crews..... Thats why their salary is so exaggerate. ;p

It seem that knowing how to manipulate and use your feeling can make bunch of money :D. Strange, I thought everyone have these ability to feel and react towards certain condition, regardless good or bad. Our emotion are covered by so many external elements and basically we are starting to lost it. We think that all of us are really emotional (emo ma, everyone uses this word without knowing the real definition) and basically able to react normally towards certain condition.

How many of you feel pity to your lecturer that spend a hell 2 hours with devils (Student, like me)?

How many drivers feel pity for those P-licenced newbie driver? Ok, just how many of you will let them go first?

How many of you will appreciate your maid at home, feeling pity for them as they left their home and work in a complete different environment and get scold or torture by their 'master' whenever they please to?

Why it is so hard for us to react like what we suppose to be?
Having high EQ (able to control emotion) may sound cool but as time passes by, you started to neglect your intial emotion, the original way of how you handle your emotion and feeling.

Think again..... Feeling is a money mine if you know how to use it right (still you need to be good-looking. Not everyone have empathy to below average looking individual)

F-E-E-L it!!!!!

Dilemma

2009-07-22T20:33:00.002+08:00

The worst situation that can happen to you during holiday is that you have TOOOOOOO much time to spare till all of a sudden, you feel that time is being wasted for no purpose. Secondly, you have TOOOOOOO much time to spare that your mind will starting to wander around, thinking of too many repercussion for certain issue.

This is my current status, i'm currently rotting at home, doing nothing significant but eat, sleep, crap, and play. What a boring life for a hyperactive teen. It is like waiting the moment to be executed in a cell. I thought i love holiday alot......

For those who are facing the same problem, tell me how you plan to overcome this dilemma cos currently, im extremely boring!!!!!!!

Joker

2009-07-03T16:33:00.002+08:00

If you have a joker in yr life, you should be thankful. (I never refer myself as joker, hence im not selling myself via this post). For those who can never make jokes and make other laugh till tears out, they will know what i mean.

For me, it's a continuous training in order to become a joker. Some born with such genes and some work very very hard to sound funny to other. To those with such genes, whatever they said and do can make other laugh like hell. For other (like me), they can only refer and duplicate the same jokes that works on themselves to other, hoping that other will potrait the same laughing effect like themselves.

So, next time when someone tell you something that could make you laugh for hours, appreciate it. You never know how your laugh can mean to the joker. And for those who cant joke, try harder. I'm undergoing this training as well ;P

GO TO HELL

2009-06-24T11:47:00.002+08:00

You see, we are all cheated by God and all of His theories that he listed inside His books and teaching. He teached us to be kind to other people, not to do bad things, be loyal to His teaching and love everything. Ya right, tell me who can do all these stuffs nowadays?

Let's make one example. In Buddhist, anyone that do any kind of evil deeds will go to hell. For punishment, simple answer. If you lie, your tougue will be hooked. If you copy in examination or steal, your hands will be cut. If you talk bad about someone else, you will be punished by drinking boling oil. Looks kinda reasonable ya?! Think again....

Who the hell in this earth dare to admit that he/she never lie in his/her life. Even a simple statement, stating that that damn fat girl is not really that fat is also a lie. (Remark, there is no such thing as white, black or grey lie. A lie is a lie, thats the bottomline). Another example, you dont like the food that your friends plan to bring you to but u said it is ok. YOU ARE LYING!!!!! Same to those who come with unlimited excuses not to go out with your friends, MEET ME IN HELL COS YOU ARE LYING, DUDE!!!!!!

Let us go for talking bad about other. Under this rule, i think i will drink a pool of boiling oil when im at hell. Same example, when you saw a gal in front of yr seat in college and complain that she is a bitch,you are one leg in hell.( Unless she is a bitch and she admits it, then you are safe). If God really around us and remember all of our deeds, He will make the criteria to heaven lower, in order to make sure hell is not overload.

Well, to those who believe in God (extremists only, if you are like me, consider yourself as bystanders, pergi mana pun tak pa), maybe u should just forget all these rubbish that i 'threw' and continue with yr believe. I have no intention to spread the anti- heaven and pro-hell theory. Im just discussing about my own case. SO THAT WHEN SOMEONE ELSE SCREAM AT ME AND ASK ME TO 'GO TO HELL', I DONT FEEL FRUSTRATED COS IM GOING TO HELL AND HOPE TO SEE YOU THERE!!!!!

Time to stand up!!!!

2009-06-02T21:10:00.003+08:00

It's our life and yet we have to look at how other feel and think about us. Who are they to critic and complain about our own actions? Funny, thanks to them, we usually afraid of doing something that we like, or something that we suppose to do. Are we, everyone of us, born to be an actor, playing the role that was on the written script?

Again, why should we force ourself to do what other wants us to do? Why can't we be ourself? Are we going to be the odd one for not being what the public wants us to do?

I'm proud to say that what i'm doing is what i want myself to be in. Taking psychology course is against all odd. Honestly, i can't imagine myself taking business, accounting, engineering and all these main stream subjects. I just hate to follow the crowd.... at least for this....

If i stand strong and make my point clear, am i going to win the arguement?

Winning the arguement is not the sole objective and winning the foe's respect is harder than just winning. Just because of other, unknown strangers that pass through your side and tell something that against your will, you hestitate, stop and finally quit. Where is your stand? Where is your 'nuts'? (mature content)

I'm always offended by listening to critics that doesn't follow my will. But then, deeply thinking, it is the critic that fills the patch of the flawed cloth. It still takes me a long time to realise that i can't obey everyone will, i can't behave what everyone wanted. Sorry, but it is time for me to be myself. No more wearing mask.

Things girls don't realize....

2009-05-20T22:54:00.002+08:00

Suppose to repost or else, will lose one important gal in my life (same message sent to scare you, i don't buy it). I found it interesting and basically, kinda true...

1. Guys are more emotional than you think, if they loved you at one point, it'll take them a lot longer than you think to let you go, and it hurts every second that they try.

2. Guys may be flirting around all day, but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

3. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.

4. Guys will do anything just to get you to notice him.

5. Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend or ex love-interest. Unless they're going for the let-her-complain-to-you-and-then-have-her-realize-how-wonderful-and-nice-you-are method.

6. A guy who likes you wants to be the only guy you talk to.

7. Boyfriends need to be reassured often that they're still loved.

8. Guys don't care how gorgeous you are, if you're a bitch Goodbye.

9. Giving a guy a hanging message like 'You know what?!..uh...nevermind..' would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking. And he'll assume he did something wrong and he'll obsess about it trying to figure it out.

10. Girls are guys' weaknesses.

11. Guys are very open about themselves.

12. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don't need to give advice.

13. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.

14. Guys love you more than you love them.

15. Guys use words like hot or cute to describe girls. They rarely use beautiful or gorgeous. If a guy uses that, he loves you or likes you a whole hell of a lot.

16. No matter how much guys talk about butts and boobs, personality is key.

17. Guys worry about the thin line between being compassionate and being whipped.

18. Guys think WAY too much. One small thing a girl does, even if she doesn't notice it can make the guy think about it for hours, trying to figure out what it meant.

19. If the guy does something stupid in front of the girl, he will think about it for the next couple days or until the next time he spends time with the girl.

20. If a guy looks unusually calm and laid back, he's probably faking it and is spazzing inside.

21. When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl, he really is. Guys rarely say that.

22. When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just actually saying, 'Please come and listen to me.'

23.If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him. It doesn't happen that often, so when it does, you know something's up.

24. When a guy tells you that you are beautiful, don't say you aren't. It makes them want to stop telling you because they don't want you to disagree with them.

25. When a guy looks at you for longer than a second, he's definitely thinking something.

26. A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.

27. Don't be a snob. Guys can be intimidated and give up easily.

28. Guys talk about girls more than girls talk about guys.

29. Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions and are MAD confusing but somehow are drawn even more to them.

30. A guy would give his right nut to be able to read a girl's mind for a day.

31. No guy can handle all his problems on his own. He's just too stubborn to admit it.

32. Not all guys are jerks. Just because ONE is a jackass doesn't mean he represents ALL of them.

33. They love it when girls talk about their boobs. haha it's true..

34. When a guy hits your butt it means that he wants you sexually

35. Even if they refuse it all guys are ticklish on the ribs.

36. Guys love neck rubs and if he lets you keep doing it ..it means that he really likes you or his neck really hurts.

37. When a guy sacrifices his sleep and health just to be with you, he really likes you and wants to be with you as much as possible.

38. Even if you dump a guy months ago and he loved you he probably still does and if he had one wish it would be you to come back into his life.

Appreciativeness and gratefulness

2009-05-19T21:45:00.002+08:00

I spend almost 40 min in front of my laptop's cam, smiling and responding while FB-ing, as my parents are buggin me about my future girlfriend. This is what they pinpoint during the whole conversation

1) No fat and short gal (not you, xwing)
2) No dating now in college, unless I can score A in all my subjects (Thats y i'm single)
3) ......... Fine, can date but don't neglect your assignments (In case i turn gay)
4) If you can't get a girlfriend by 30, mom will start helping you to hunt gal (OMFG)
5) Say no for naive and silly gals, no princess and bitch (I agree!!!)
6) Don't play play, no accidents (How to have accident in toilet , mature content)

Here, i would really appreciate and thank to those who cares about my marital status. MK, Stephie and HX to name some. I don't really like that 'angel' and i don't really need your help to knock her down if i plan to. Though i don't mind to joke regards on this matter, but if she realised this, i will be wearing mask to U everyday to avoid her. Sian la dia, tak pasal pasal kena gosip. Please..... keep in confidential. Just between us....

And, i spend the remaining 20 min, looking at the mirror and staring on my own face. Do i look so hopeless in knocking a gal down. What makes all of my beloved worrying that i can't get girlfriend........... Do i look weird?! ;p

Rich and Poor Theory

2009-05-06T13:06:00.003+08:00

I am spending my valuable and rare hoildays, watching that damn South Park. Well, cantonese version is always more funny that the original version. Besides rude, i still think that it is as cool and rock as Sponge Bob!!!!!

Got some inspirations from one of the episodes which talks about the 'Rich and Poor Theory'. If you ever wonder, why are you so poor and yet God or any rich ppl never even help you by sharing their money with you, this is the answer.

First, to be rich you need to be smart. When you are smart, you will end up getting a cert and work in a big company and earn tons of money. So, for the poor ppl, they are just dumb. (Ouch!!!). The reason rich ppl never share their money with ppl is basically they don't bother to share money with dumbass and they will have to work, like the rich ppl to get money. See, the poor can work as the servant for the rich, doing things that the rich won't do such as maid, rubbish collector or plumber (Ouch!!). If the poor get rich, who will do all these sh*t?!

Some part of this theory seem to be logical and ya, i buy his idea. Guess that's the reason why money is so powerful and everyone is hunting for more. In reality, it is just painful for the poor (I'm included, thats y i worked as a saleperson) to realise this fact. (The actual version is way more aggressive and rude, due to our country cencorship law, certain language and words have been eliminated and replaced)

Baby Henry's party

2009-04-26T21:04:00.004+08:00

Here's some pictures of that brat, Baby Henry poolside birthday party. Well, he is 12 months old now. Just hope that he can keep quiet and unactive sometime. Now i know, it is just hard to be some baby's parents. Hail all parents!!!!!

He just know where is the camera. Witty little brat

Should keep this cake into the fridge. It is melting in my hand, not in my mouth.

What he will do is toss all the coins to the floor. No prize to those who able to guess who gotta clean all the mess later.

His hobby, kissing someone. For me, he prefers to bite and lick.

More pic coming soon due to difficulties to upload pic. Thanks to Streamyx, u know Streamyx issue......

Chick Magnet

2009-04-23T23:07:00.003+08:00

I read a post before regards on hot chicks. It stated that there are only 3 types of people that have such chance to be surrounded or marry a hot chick. Let's just negelct whether or not they will have a wonderful marriage in future.

First type of people will be rich dudes. No doubt, if you have money, you are the chick magnet. What you need to do is to fetch her with your luxury yet 2 door-less-than-my-car car and bring her to luxury-yet-small- portion restaurant. Not forget, bring along your unlimited credit cards and swap as if you have bottomless gold in your mine. Then, you can do whatever you wanna and wish to do to her (Warning: Depending on individual's perception, this line may contain mature content.). Well, money is the best solution and best brain-washing element in this world. No Doubt ;p

Solution : Me, myself spend years to find out a way to be rich but sadly, there are no shortcuts for fortune. Positive method, you work or be a businessman or pray hard that you'd hit the jackpot. Negative method, be a toyboy or rob or be a government servant.

Second type, P-O-W-E-R. Watched Fast and Furious 4??? You dont need to be good looking to have tons of chicks in your house. Just wear some bling-bling, put some vulgar words in between your sentence, poke your skin with color pencil or black pen (a.k.a tattoo) and speak loudly. Thats what we call, mafia bro. Or, go for a election, win it and be famous. Same result.

Third, very good-looking dudes. According to Law of Attraction, you will attract people that is similiar with you. Or in Social Psychology, we will tend to mix around with people thats similiar with us. So if you are a handsome dude, example, models, they will mix with other models or fabulous people. Am i right? So, if you are complaining why you are not a womanizer, easy, cos you are just not. If you are complaining of having a bunch of friends that share the similarity with @$$ 0, don't curse them. The curse will hit you back cos you are one of the @$$ 0 too. ;p

I personal agree with the points and i guess that this solves the mystery of why i'm not a hen (no chicks around). Personal strategy, i will aim to the first category, rich. It is easier to wash chicks' brain with money than force and attractiveness. At least, you are the dealer. ;p

Fairy Tale

2009-04-06T22:30:00.003+08:00

If someone tell you that unity is possible, tell them that nothing (besides your six abs) can be unity, not forever. I'm been living in this land of diversity whereby seeing people with different races and skin colour are a norm. Our government tried and still trying to inject this thought, so called ' perpaduan' into everyone in this country. Yet, you know that it will never have a day when we can call someone with their name, instead of that ' chinese dude' or ' keling' (sorry to be rude)

Easy, when you go through an accident and what is the first question you will ask? 'What race is he/she'. When you trapped in a jam and starting cursing the car beside you that tried to overcome you, what will you said? 'DAMN (race) people, all of them sucks. Come on, if victims are from other races, you will do feel better ya? Other races' life do not consider as valuable as yours.

Hunger for more examples? Why do bumiputra have discount when they buy house and we, non- bumiputra do not have such discount? Are bumiputra consider special just because they are born here, or 'grow' from soil here? If we are staying here, don't we consider as bumiputra??
Don't you feel ashame to take such discount which obviously unfair to other? Indirectly, government is giving you a wheelchair to show how handicapp you are.

This discrimination doesn't only occur between races, but also within races. See what happen to government's party everytime before election? See what happen in a Chinese village when it comes to money and honey? See what happen between a Hokkien and Hakka and Cantonese individual arguing on their language? Is it that important to show how great our race is? Are we all human? Are we all equal? Told you, unity, equality and world peace is impossible.

For those who have strong discrimination attitude, congrat and continue with your thought and attitude. You are contributing to the doom of the human civilization. We been exposed to tooo many history and examples, showing how deadly war can be and yet, we human are still living in a world without history. Keep repeating and following the cycle. It is ok ;p

Friday the 13th Exposed (Edward's feeling after event)

2009-03-20T22:46:00.003+08:00

I think i suppose to come out with the final summary of the event that took place last week, Friday the 13th and to those who been there or know about the whole event, there are too many pic to insert into this blog and it will take centuries to recycle the memories regards to this event. Therefore, i decide not to redo and comment on the event again and again. Since Fern had the most update/exposed info to our event, just go and visit her blog http://chocolatedreamsandeverythingnice.blogspot.com/. She did a brilliant job in commentating the whole event.

Ok, back to my life after the event. After going through nights of OT, i decided to 'date' MK to watch Slumdog Millionaire. Well, since the Friday the 13th show is all about charity show, i bet after going both the event and the Ocsar-winning award movie, holy...... You will realise how damn lucky you can be in this country. (Besides political issue)

It seems to me that everyone in this world required help from someone else and thats the reason why we have to go through the project (For the 25 marks too, to be honest). I would said that this movie really open up the eyes of many lucky-fellow who are indulge in the torrent of prosperity and greed. Life doesn't need to be fill by unlimited fortune or luxury. Maybe it is not as convincing as i plan it to be cos i'm one of the money-minded dude in this world but it is true. When you are broke (like me now), you wanna have a bunch of money falling from a tree like Newton got apple when he was skipping his lecture. Then, when you are freaking rich (like what i will be soon :p), you will then complain that money is no longer important and you started to think to have other... Desire is always accepted but it will be painful to have desire that hard to be accomplished.

Example? When we going through the 2-month duration project, every single one of us pray hard and wish that the whole hell will end ASAP. In the end? every single one of us pray hard and wish that the whole hell will go on again and again. Controversial, ya?

The pictures of us worrying about every single activities in our event are still fresh in my memory. And in the end, all the paths are cleared for us. Thinking too much basically do not help to solve the matter. Coming out from the initial plan doesn't really bad, if you know how to get back when you leave the original track. Hey, you may get a shortcut out of it.

Finally.......

2009-03-09T20:37:00.003+08:00

Tomorrow will be a big day for all of the sufferers (Form 6 students). I can be sure that every single Form 6 went through their 2 years, cursing the books and teachers, banging head towards the wall or wooden well-decorated desk and sweating during the 3 hours math exam.

Well, i believe that the main purpose of Form 6 is to kill off and discourage hardworking and nerdy students to stop studying and help the economic to grow by quit studying and start to work. However, i will really need to SHOUT OUT HERE, they survived and grow stronger after going through this hell!!!!!

I will like to wish any Form 6 to get the best result that you cant even imagine. For most of my bros in BG, i bet you will never read this post but still i wish you guys all the best!!!!

Good, bad or ugly, life still goes on. An A doesn't able to prove your hardwork (if there is) and marks are just a figure of how many questions you can get it correct. Why bother to make your life miserable because of certain figures?!

May the Lady Luck be with every single of you tomorrow. AAAAAAAAAAA :p

How to spot a shy male ;p

2009-02-25T23:45:00.003+08:00

Due to the intensive advises and complains from numerous friends, i will like to give comments in behalf of other fellow shy-male to express what is inside our fragile heart and also guide to spot and knock down a shy male.

Shy dudes ( for example, me ;p) usually talk alot about their love theories but simply, they are lack of pratical and experience in relationship. Most of the tim, they are the one that you will refer to if you face any problem regard to relationship as they are neutral and bias free (they don't know what is love). This is because they are

1) shy (duh!!!)
2) lack of exposure to females especially hot pretty chicks
3) do not look too attractive
4) poor
5) can't differentiate between friends and potential lover
6) lazy (they have other things to focus on, eg games, comics, p*rn)
7) scare of rejection
8) 'love stereotype' eg. love hurts, love uses alot of money, love is like holding a time bomb

Shy male's personalities.

1)Must be a straight male
2)Talk and give comments on love but no action taken.
3)Give out bunch of reasons not to date a woman.
4)Red Cheek (worst = red face)
5)Abnormal sudden change of responce and attitude when a hot chick walks pass (eg, act cool, act smart)
6)No eye contact during a conversation with a female.
7)Acting as if love is nothing to them.
8)Feel anxious when they know that the target is around them.
9)Try to appear in front of the target but not dare to be too near or approach.

Ways to overcome the disorder.

1)Watch p*rn
2)Get surrounded by ugly pork chops first before targeting on hot chicks. (This is to ensure that they can survive at the hardest stage, make them vulnerable to females)
3)Help them to pass the love messages.
4)Bring him along as you are approaching his target (help them to overcome shyness)
5)Plastic surgery.
6)Pray to God that the girl will be more active.
7)Be a homo (no need to woo a female lo)
8)Use drug/alcohol to make accident occur/ boost their courage (Caution, please take precaution action to avoid pregnancy)

(Due to the laziness, the length of the post will be reduced. Please be considerate as the author faced a strong internal conflicts as he is going through and writing out his toughest chapter in his life ;p)

Miracles

2009-02-19T18:56:00.005+08:00

The only weakness a human, especially one with a logical and rational mind, will have is thinking too much. I had to admit about my perfectionist attitude that usually lead to inevitable stress and pressure. Human like me will need to have more than one alternative plan, considering pros and cons for every single step, trying to avoid making mistakes, worrying about revealing the stupidity and taking time to make sure that the path in front of me is the most secure i can get.

Result? I lose my dreams, i lose my imagination, i lose my desire, i lose my expectation on miracle. Easy ya, if you are those who are skeptical about things that you can't see, you will start to lose your faith on miracle, which is something that you can't see.

I am currently in a groupwork and during the planning stage, it is very obvious to see me, worrying for every single details. Honestly, i have doubt that our event ( Adver time : http://www.helpfriday13th.blogspot.com/ ) is not capable to be as gala as it is now. The moment when i am worrying about budget and sponsorship, miracles happen. All the sponsorships pop out from no where and things are just getting better and better and better. (Guys, all of you are just brilliant!!!!!!)

Perhaps, sometime you just need to let go and let your Lady Luck guide you. I seriously regret for missing too many chances that may change my life if i have just close my eyes and follow my heart. I will be trying to close my part of brain that control logical thinking, so bear with me if i come out with any stupid things all in a sudden.

I wanna sing while playing guitar (Currently working on)

I wanna change a new car (Latio Implus, tell dad ya!!!)

I wanna get a new camera!!!!

I (really) wanna have long hair!!!!

I wanna go clubbing!!!!

I wanna grow taller

I wanna go to Bali and have beach party with bikini gals (0.o)

I wanna be lazy ( though i'm all the time)

I wanna kick N@zib 's ass

(The list is too long but thats what currently in my mind that i wanna do regardless what happen ;p)

My love story

2009-02-13T21:57:00.005+08:00

My friend told me that love is addictive. When you are in a relationship, you wish that time will stop eternally as both of you would like to spend all the time, looking at each other. When you are alone, it seem like your brain is covered with all the sweet memories and you are so excited to wait for the next date.

However, things change when your partner started to let go and choose to continue the journey with another person. This time, as you are alone, hatred, rage and sadness covered your mind. If money flows out in a relationship, this time tears and harsh words flows. You feel like killing your partner as revenge for the betray. Hopefully you are not that thick-skinned to threathen your partner to return all the gifts or beg to revive the relationship.

I admit that the whole arguement is not strong because i never been in a relationship before and i'm proud to say that no one even hold my hand yet (except my mom, my dad, my sis, my uncle ,my grandma, mak cik kantin,........). I recieved tons of laugh from my friends and my cousin (bubububuuub) for still being alone since 20 years ago. Perhaps i'm just not born to be paired with someone. Btw, i'm straight.

My point of view is puppy love is not even love for me. It is just admiration, just feel happy to have a handsome prince/princess around you. And for those puppy lover, good luck for you guys. I cant give any comment as i'm one of those failure that fails to get a partner (just to make them feel better) but i believe that if you put all your love on your partner, you will gonna have a hellya pain if he/she take all away and leave you alone. It is painful cos you have lost all your love in one time. Thats why it is important to know that, beside loving your partner, love yourself, love your family and love everyone around you. At least you will still get back the love that you have deposited on them if your partner left (touch wood).

Eventually, you will have to continue your journey of life alone. Many will get into your path but the one that will make the story goes on will be only you. Pray hard you die before your partner if you believe that both of you will be together forever. (You end your race first and wait for him at the ending point.)

Many thanks to those who share their lovely yet gruesome-in-the-end love story. I really enjoy the storyline and i'm glad that you make me as your audience. To those who are in a sweet wonderful relationship, Happy Valentine for you guys and for those who are like me, .........gambatte and horray as we dont need to spend on overchange chocolates, roses and couple meal ;p

My company

2009-02-05T21:26:00.002+08:00

I'm part of a big, multiculture company which seem to hide in a perfect mask as it showed how peaceful and harmony we are, under the same habitat. However, we who are working in this company are just beginning to fed up with the company's structure and system. The previous chairman was a brillant leader, single-handed lifting our company to the surface of the world. But then, the thing changed when the new chairman started to rule.

I don't hate my chairman. He may not be as brilliant like our previous chairman but he worked very hard in order to make his reputation. The only and most vital killer blow/ weakness is his soft-hearted and gentleman way of leadership. That makes all the bastards that work with him started to unmask themselves. It is very normal for a company to breed a bunch of assholes that contribute nothing but problems but once the virus starting to spread, assholes turned into holy-shit assholes.

Thanks to the vice-chairman, the head of the assholes, we are now able to pinpoint all the issues. He is so so bad in acting and we, from a office boy to a garbage collecter know what is he about to do. To add lemon on your naked wound, he is perfect in using his authority to form pressure to both executive and management level. Basically, he is the one that roll the dice and other are praying not to lose too badly in this game.

Our chairman is leaving soon and no doubt, our vice will take his position. Most of us know our repercusion. He will make more false account to suck money, enough to buy a street of brothels. (Typical guy likes to have one mistress, he prefer mistressessssssss). How? By reducing our projects budget, decreasing OT wages, add taxes in cafeteria, charge for every turn to toilet........ well, he will eventually come out with his law to suck money.

Seriously, i love my company and i plan to work here till .......... well, no exact figure yet. All this political issues in our company really discouraging us to work. Some leave, some work while mind covered with million of complains, some do not care and some still do not aware with the current situation. We make complains, we make noises. Still, the company is operating, business as usual. This is ths story of my company. Pretty unfair ya? ;p

How to Behave During CNY

2009-01-21T20:55:00.003+08:00

CNY is one of the biggest event you will probably experience in Malaysia, especially among Chinese. Therefore, knowing how to behave during these important days will save you alot of problems and making you an understanding friend as we are staying in the same country.

8 things that you should/must/better aware of... (Based on true story)

1)Angpau is more than just a red packet with money. It symbolizes hope and fortune given from the victims (i mean those who give you angpau). So, if you visit someone's house, don't be so rude to ask for angpau, don't open the angpau instantly or don't ask and spread the news regard on the amount of money inside the angpau.

2)It is not compulsary to wear red but try to avoid clothes that are black, with skull or any satan potraits, animals head, vulgar words, thick coat (Hello, Malaysia is full of hottie, it is damn hot here), songkok (Wrong place, WTH?!) and sexy-prom-night dresses.

3)You know that Chinese are not allowed to sweep the floor. So dudes, please be considering when you are trying to dispose your gabbage. It is not funny for the house owner if the whole Coke landed on a white sofa or collecting kuaci one by one on the floor. Though they respond in a gentle way, but you will know what happened when you leave the house.

4)For those who like to include vulgar/harsh/not-so-good languages or words in between sentences, please choose one of the two options provided. A) Think everytime before words come out from your mouth or B) Just keep ya filthy mouth shut.

5)CNY is the best chance you can get into someone' house. However, 'treasure digging' or 'shopper' attitude are no no. Don't simply go to others room and start digging people's wardrobe and asking the price of the limited edition SpongeBob boxer. Avoid touching people's valuable items such as vase, plasma TV, PS3, dog, pictures and maid.

6)Watch out the way you react in other's house. Do not attempt to make youself stupid by hopping around the house, standing on the sofa, eating till you feel like 'ta pau', taking/demanding more than one angpau, drinking beer till you drop and curse when you lose in poker card game.

7)Something are better when they are not reviewed. Don't try to act hardworking on CNY. Harkworking= "I wanna do homework, got three exercise books to do." or " Let me finish my Hairy Pooter first." when other are busying chatting and gathering. Come on, you can do this later. Save it for yourself.

8)Please do make yourself look good during CNY. Make sure you have yourself well dressed, brush your teeth, wash your face, change your inner, style your hair properly (For those who have extreme hairstyle like me, god bless you. I'm still thinking how to style my hair to look more 'guai'.). Trust me, you will get more angpau and more praises from vistors. You definitely dislike the feeling of people cursing you during CNY.

Last one,

Happy Chinese New Year and Wish everyone around me is as healthy, as tough, as full (Cow is fat), as 'milky' (Mean more money) and as easy-go-lucky like cow this year ;p (No more psy stuffs this time, Loki)

Mother Teresa said...

2009-01-19T22:17:00.004+08:00

From my uncle's t-shirt...

We went for a kaw kaw shopping recently and professional shoppers like us have no problem to hunt down 5 or 6 t-shirts with all these kawaii phrases.

Sometime it is just a matter of fact that some 'holy' phrases can potrait a different meaning if it is from someone else mouth (exp - me ;p)

See, it is just the matter of perceptive. The same accident, if occured in a comedy, will be a joke while when occured in a horror movie, will be a heart-stopping terror. It depends on how you view the matter, what is your mood and how to do react to it. CNY is just around the corner, so enjoy your holidays and let the fire crackers shine the whole night despite the risk of getting summons from our friendly neighbourhood, policeman. ;p

Kampung

2009-01-12T22:11:00.003+08:00

Picture of my grandparent's room at my kampung

Most of us trying to eliminate all the antiques and old stuffs which witness many days along us. We tend to hunt for modern and breath-taking (as in the value) items and we are so proud to own these flashy branded items. Hey, all of the furnitures here are way older than me. They were about the same age with our country, around 51 years.

One of the oldest item you can see in this typical kampung house is a jug that served as one of the gifts on the wedding dinner of my grandparents around 50++ years ago. Hahahahaaha, it just looks like a piece of old classical jug before i know about my grandparents' love story and my mom's childhood. The bad news is the cover of the jug was no longer there, just like my grandpa who left us 7 years ago.

Life is like a journey, driving toward a particular destination and memories are views that you have passed. Whether there are mouth-watering stalls, a deadly accident or pretty chicks waving to you, once you stopped, it will be hard for you to continue your journey. To those who have stopped, time to move on. No point stopping and looking to these scenery. You will never reach your destination. Whether the memories were good enough for you to be spellbounded to it or bad enough for you to try to delete, once they were gone, forever they were gone. Unless you are trying to break a world record by driving without looking in front, let what has behind, gone and what has left, as a casual conversation topic in future.

Thoughts

2009-01-07T22:24:00.004+08:00

Typical human

Me ;p

Yesterday

2009-01-03T22:29:00.003+08:00

Are you happier than yesterday?

Are you better than yesterday?

Did you learn anything yesterday?

Did you miss anything yesterday?

Yes or no??

If you miss something yesterday, do it today and see te result tomorrow. (Hehehehehehe, lazy and have nothing to blog. Got this inspiration from a movie ;p)

Starry starry night

2008-12-27T13:24:00.002+08:00

Saw this yellowish starfish while walking along the Pangkor beach. It is very rare to see a half-died starfish that is bigger than my palm.

Lucky to see one!!!!! (Posted for you, xwing!!! ;p)

Holy-days

2008-12-17T22:12:00.002+08:00

Ahh, finally the sound of relief emerges after weeks of hard work. Holiday is certainly holy-day for me. I sleep, eat, play, hop and online (basically doing nothing important, just to waste time.)

Well, if you have went through all these hard days, you will eventually realise that simple days where you lay down on your bed, doing nothing can be a great thing to do, especially when i don't always spend time at my hometown.

I think it is true. We spend our whole life, hunting for fame and fortune, which probably more that what we need and during the process, many other beautiful scenery are abandoned. Just like when we are driving, we tend to miss alot of scenery around us that we never realise how breath-taking there are.

Enjoy while you can and this is what i'm doing now. Need to recharge before the next sem starts. Long live, holidays!!!!!!

A Lesson in Saloon

2008-12-08T14:45:00.003+08:00

I was forced to cut my hair again. The first thing i need to decide is to choose the correct saloon where the hairstyler is good enough to cut and style my hair. Second, i have to decide whether i want to wash my hair before i have to choose and decide which hairstyler and which style that i like and suit me in the same time. In that long- suffering process, i have to choose which magizine to read and which session in the magazine that i wish to read. In this mere 1 hour, i have make more decisions that i would make if i'm at college.

Life is simply significant because you learn things through experiences, either good or bad. Even a simple task or in a limited time, you may just figure out something that you may never know about yourself. Thats the importance of knowing yourself. Mimicking someone is pretty useless, unless you know the right one to mimic.

Making decision is not easy, especially when you are given a great responsiblity (or burden). However, before thinking of how to change the world, one should change himself first. If you can't decide and do the right thing for yourself, the chances are you will not able to choose a right deal for the other. Stop thinking of changing the whole world, changing all the inequality, dicriminations, class difference, social class and all this hellya problems if you are one of the millions that only talk/crap but taking no action. ;p

A night at hospital

2008-12-08T01:03:00.003+08:00

It is just another night without moon and stars shining,
However, it will portrait a different scene when you are staring it in hospital.
It is just funny to know that health is wealth,
Only when you are no longer as healthy as you are.

Its been a tiring night, or week
When someone you know are becoming weaker and weaker
The aura seem to be spreading to everyone around me,
And that includes me.

2 more days before my final,
Yet, i really can't find any slot to sit down and study.
It sounds like an excuse,
Yet, that's the fact.

Vienna Test Result

2008-12-04T21:13:00.002+08:00

Trivia about myself that i don't even realise

1) My IQ score is 114. WAY TOO HIGH!!!!!!

2)My long-term memory score is 95/100. I guess if they checked my short-term memory, it will damn low.

3)Inside me, i'm a sadist. I'm one of the potential serial killer, terrorist or psychopathy.

4)I'm not as cold blooded that i think i'm. I'm actually pretty nice ;p

5) There are reason why my parking sucks. I'm bad in visualizing. Mom, i don't mean to bang your car.

6)My tendency to express is 8/9 which mean that whatever you ask me, i will tell you. That may include busybody, i guess.

7)I'm weird. I love both slow and fast working enviroment. Even the counselor was abit worries about my condition.

8)My confident level is very very low. I do afraid to present in front of the class but just too sleepy and forget to be nervous.

9)I can be a good consultant in future. Yeah!!!!!! $$$$$$$

10)I'm not as happy-go-lucky and carefree as what i'm usually. Most of the time, i'm an anti social. Thats why i may need to consult a counselor if my worry and stress level is way too high ;p

WTH?

2008-11-30T16:03:00.001+08:00

I realised that i have low EQ. Thats all. I'm searching for a way to recycle and reduce my pressures and burdens. Any ideas, anyone? ;p

Oh my god!!!!!!

2008-11-28T12:31:00.004+08:00

My flame of frustration and rage burst up after i go through my friend's blog. Come on, people nowadays is just manipulate and implant fear and so-called respect on religion. If the true purpose of a religion is used to control and brain-washed fellow believers, then what is the point of believing and respecting it? Going through history book enlighten me alot, especially when you go through all the wars, discrimination, brutal judgements, and much more, thanks to the word 'religion'. England and France (if im not mistaken) are battling to prove that their religion is the only one. The terrorists are bombing and killing and chopping and acting as if these bastards are born to fulfil the duty for their religion. Here, religion is a sensitive issue whereby no one can discuss or critic on it (YA RITE, Fu(k ya!!!!!)

Religion has been misuse (misguide) by many leaders across the world. They just use religion to control and make sure that the citizen are listening to them. Come on, dudes or leaders, it is a shame, please just stop acting as if you are Fu(king holy if you are not. My line again, Just be yourself.

Nabi Mohamad never force anyone to join Islam. Christian is emphasising on love, peace and harmony. If everyone that has their own believe in their own religion and following it with eyes opened, this world will be a better place to stay.

Enough with stating how good you are as a follower. Do you really know what is your religion about? Dont misuse it. Religion is something wise and holy and great if you really know how to use it.

I'm sick enough to see how Mumbai get attacked,
Sick enough to see how Bali get bombed,
Sick enough to see how Madrid get bombed,
Sick enough to see how people in Iraq suffer just to survive,
Sick enough to see how people worship god and religion as a symbol of battle and war,
Sick enough to see how innocent people still praying for peace and other people are trying to eliminate peace.

Shallowing the whole bible,
Hiding inside the temple,
Saying all the wise words,
Praying 5 times a day,
Acting as a kind follower,
It is just a piece, or many pieces of shit bloody crap.
If you have the wrong mentality.

If you are doing what god asked you to do,
We will never get punished by Him.
See what the world is now,
If you dont wanna play a part in making it better,
Please dont make it worse.

Advice to myself

2008-11-26T20:04:00.004+08:00

It is hard to know that sometime, you are just not good in something. You can try very hard to master in something, yet you are still remain blur. You just don't seem to get it though you spent days, cracking your head, thinking about it. Don't blame yourself and don't compare you and other with it better than you. They just seem to have that in their DNA. What can you do?

Everyone is unique and yet we are spending time to imitate other who we think is better than us and never realise how unique you can be if you spent the same amount time to upgrade yourself. Everyone has his own talents, either visible or invisible, as well as his own weaknesses. The only reason, according to Buddha (philosophy thingy ya, don't play play) we are suffering is because we have desire. Well, we are all suffering, thinking how to boost our weaknesses and neglect our strength. Sound funny and stupid? Well, we are.

We just need to admit that in certain field, we are just not that good (well, just not too good to compare with the pro) or totally sucks with it. It is ok, as if everyone is perfect. Some of them just trying so hard to capture all the attention around on him and he just don't know that he is keep putting his weaknesses on stage, which make him look worse.

We may just try very hard, too hard till we expect rewards out from our hardwork. But, world is just not a fair place. However, be proud to blow on your own trumpet and how hard you work on it. Trust me, someone will still notice it.

Instead of spending time and effort, investing on a wrong field, it is wise to put all your eggs on the correct basket. Just be yourself. Soemtime, what you think you want to do is different with what you can do. Be dare to dream and if it fails, at least you have tried and you are definitely better that many cowards that hide his ideas and action in his brain.

Just be yourself and proud to be yourself ;p

College For Dummies

2008-11-24T22:08:00.001+08:00

This is the list on what you need to do to survive in college or university nowadays; P

1) Don’t do your ass last minute.
I know it sound so 'duh' but then trust me, if you think last minute crap works, wait till you have 20 essays to do in last 3 days (personal experience; p)

2) Don’t log into msn while you are doing your ass.
Whether you entertain them or not, eventually you will get annoyed and ending forget to do your ass because you are busy annoying other.

3) Don’t get and use a cheap laptop.
Your lappie is very important. So if you plan to get a laptop, get a good one. You will get my point if you experience lag and hang while you are doing your stuff.

4) Don’t act like hero.
If you need help, ask!!!!! If you need to beg your lecturer for info, do so. They are the one that control your mark, your life as well. No choice la. ;p

5) Do learn how to type faster.
If you are those unfortunate that can’t type fast or can’t type with two hands, congrats!!!! You will just need to spend twice the amount of time to complete a task.

6) Do sleep, rest, play (Enjoy!!!!) if you can.
You will miss the day when you can lay on the bed doing nothing while doing yr ass in the middle of the night and even the ghosts are too sleepy to wander around.

7) Do have a bunch of friends that are helpful( and avoid the helpless and hopeless one ).
You are no longer living in an isolated island. Friends will be part of the ‘strategy’ to survive in college. Treasure your friends, ya!!!

8) Do pray hard that your birthday do not fall on the day where you need to do all your ass.
I’m a living example. I have to reject all my dates on that day and hug my books instead being hug by chicks and friends. And do remember to get yourself a cake in this important day. (The following picture may cause discomfort to some audience)

Homemake cake with candle (toilet paper roll and pencil) with book!!! Not edible, btw. Happy Birthday, Edward ;p

Top in my song list

2008-11-22T14:02:00.002+08:00

Journey - 张韶涵

曲：Corrinne May 词：Corrinne May

It's a long long journey
Till I know where I'm supposed to be
It's a long long journey
And I don't know if I can believe
When shadows fall and block my eyes
I am lost and know that I must hide
It's a long long journey
Till I find my way home to you

Many days I've spent
Drifting on through empty shores
Wondering what's my purpose
Wondering how to make me strong

I know I will falter I know I will cry
I know you'll be standing by my side
It's a long long journey
And I need to be close to you

Sometimes it feels no one understands
I don't even know why
I do the things I do
When pride builds me up till I can't see my soul
Will you break down these walls and pull me through

Cause It's a long long journey
Till I feel that I am worth the price
You paid for me on calvary
Beneath those stormy skies

When Satan mocks and friends turn to foes
It feel like everything is out to make me lose control
Cause It's a long long journey
Till I find my way home to you
oh to you

(It is just so nice. Ask me if you want this song, FOC ;p)

My Organs

2008-11-21T21:35:00.003+08:00

I was born perfectly physically, unlike alot of other unfortunate god's children. Yet, i realise that i am not using what He gives me well. All of my senses are not functioning to its fulllest potential.

My eyes, i never use them to observe and see how people around me act. I been neglecting my beloved family and friends millions of time. Thanks for still be with me. I am so blind that i cant even notice how hard you are trying to send me the message ,"I need you"

My ears, i never use them to listen to other's story. Most of the time when someone is talking to me, i tend to stay away, stay away from responsibilty. I always think that i'm a good listener before i realise that i don't even know what the hell are you talking and crying in front of me.

My hands, i never use them to lift someone or help someone. I am such a jerk, a selfish jerk that will try to offer help, at most of the time, only in the worst stage. I am assuming that everyone will be like me, who don't like to being offer help, or ask for help.

My legs, i always walk in a fast pace, leaving those who are walking along with me. Another act of selfishness, never realise how hard everyone around me try to cope with my speed. I prefer to be alone, wasting no time on something that is not important to me.

My heart, a stone heart, will never have room to fill other's feelings and thoughts. I never like to admit my own mistake and in most of the time, my bloodless heart will just keep pumping excuses. Will definitely die iof heart problem soon ;P

Not to forget, my mouth, one full of junks and poisons that able to pierce through someone's heart and leave a scar on their sensitive's heart. Honesty is not always the best policy. There are just too many problem coming out from my mouth.

Hahahahahahahaha,

Well, think again on how you use all of your organs that God gives. If you realise that you are just a jerk like me, maybe shutting down your organs will be the best way to stop spreading the virus that will causes problem. Will reborn very soon by shutting every single part of my body to let them self-rejuvenate in hoping to be a better one. Sorry if any single part of my body hurts you before. You are free to do anything to me after my reborn. (Please come with an appointment, i dont expect slaps and kicks when i'm not ready for it) ;P

From my small-eyed friend ;P

2008-11-20T00:33:00.000+08:00

Sorry - 方大同

当我回头发现是我
伤你最多欠你最多
曾经拥有一种幸福
当你流泪还问你到底想要什么

I'm so sorry 我现在知道你伤心
有同样的心情
I'm so sorry 我现在终于能明白
当我为爱付出一样得到伤害
我才看得见你的爱是那么深
最深的爱原来最沉默

爱的温柔爱的残酷
爱的自私爱的自由
爱的背叛爱的挣扎
这些我都走过你的痛我现在也都有

I'm so sorry 我现在知道你伤心
有同样的心情
I'm so sorry 我现在终于能明白
当我为爱付出一样得到伤害
我才看得见你的爱是那么深
最深的爱原来最沉默

再过了好久好久当我们又再相遇
当爱也许已经不存在
我是否可以再和你坐一起
一切都不在意
想要告诉你对你的伤害 yeah
没有说对不起没有说对不起

I'm so sorry 我现在知道你伤心
有同样的心情
I'm so sorry 我现在终于能明白
我也为爱付出也得到爱的伤害
我也才明白你的爱是那么深
伤你多深 oh 想要对你说

Final destination

2008-11-18T21:27:00.003+08:00

Well, i was surrounded by many emo and moody stories recently, and it deeply affecting me. I am already get knocked out by my studies, and these bad feelings are definitely not being welcome to my life.

I still remember how happy to be at my hometown, laying on my bed, singing all my songs, letting my mind wander, in some occasion, thinking about that big-eyed girl that i always wanted to make friend with but failed.

What makes it so hard to do all this simple tasks again, now?

Is it because i'm getting too serious with my current stuff? I can realise how far my imagination, my happiness, my naive, my creativity, my simplicity stay at while i'm moving forward, day by day, to reach so-called my final destination.

I begin to mediatate, yet it makes me feel worse instead of more relax.

I begin to get back to the starting point of my pathway, giving myself a solid reason to keep moving.

What will i get when i study hard?
Good grade?
Good grade in exchange for good job?
Good job in exchange for good money?
Good money in exchange for good life, with all the luxuries that i dreamt for?
Then?
I reach my final destination
What i wanna do then?
Waiting for the time to die?
That's all my life is?
Thats all?

Funny
We were told to have targets and goals,
and yet things change all the time.

Well, thats life, thats all in my life now ;P

Silence

2008-11-16T22:53:00.003+08:00

I'm been thinking too much. Miss the time where i'm more dumb. At least less problem, less dilemma. Been trying very hard to smile, finding very easy to cry, where usually the opposite thing happens more frequent. I guess im growing up now, growing up in a hard way. ;p
(So sorry for being rude, the time will pass soon where i will be who i'm again)

Pre-camwhore training

2008-11-15T23:13:00.003+08:00

Some basic training here. Enjoy your weekend, there will be a big battle to come soon. *Earthquake!!!!!*

Stereotype on male

2008-11-13T22:29:00.004+08:00

Here I'm speaking behalf of all the males (either boy or man, to be more general) that were under a harsh life, treated as if we are all born with super-natural powers. Gals out there, time for us to make complains. Just read and think again on how you treated your father, brother, boyfriend, friend and even your male puppy.

I realise that in this era, the gap between two genders are getting closer and closer. Thats a good thing cos equality is somthing that everyone of us should have. To protect themselves, they have so called human right, making sure that they can actually stand up when they are treated unfairly. We have right for female, for animals, for kids, but do we have such thing for male? (I dont know, please tell me if we do have such thing. Thanks)

To our dearest darlings, we are as sensitive and weak like you. (God is fair, no one is perfect.). Just because we are phsyically stronger, that doesnt make we are mentally and emotionally stronger. Worse, because of this, we are required to do all the chores that obviously make us stupid. Personally, i dont mind but dont order us as if we are born to carry out all the tasks that you dont wanna do.

You always complains that we, male are not caring, always neglect you,always complain and critic about you, always bully and fool you around and etc................

Ya, but you realises that you are doing the same thing. ASSUMING, we are male. "Guys no need one" , "Cos you are a guy ma", "Guy's job"

Well, dont get pissed off with my piece of crap here. I have this in my head for years (Cos i got 1 mom and 2 sis to serve) and the article that i read that talk how bad a guy can be really trigger my anger.

I just wanna make my point clear here, Everyone is equal. If you want someone to treat you well and with respect, please do the same thing as well. Remember, dont take anything for granted. Making us a slave will obviously make male rebel more. And, for those who write in female magazine, please do write some positive value that me, male have. We are not good for nothing. (We dont write these in male magazine, just be considerate ya. ;P)

Money did Matter!!!!

2008-11-11T21:47:00.003+08:00

I am born with high alert on number. I hate math (honesty) but anyway getting high grade for it. Like other teens out there, money matter= no matter. However, time to wake up and be alert how your money evaporate.

A barrel of crude oil is going under US60 now. Here, we suppose to 'follow' the market price, like other countries. But then,......... ;P. Going under RM1.92?? Haram tak mungkin la

Lending money to help company? How much you need? RM50 Billion? No problem. No need to repay, no need receipt, no need nothing. Our government is very kind to our citizen, dont you think so?? ;P

Reducing income tax? Sounds like a good idea in the first glance, rite? But what happen to your future? To be brutally honest, that mere percentage doesn't help alot ;P

Rebate for your car? Ya, after charging you like hell, giving you hundreds is sufficiant to keep your mouth and wallet shut? Well, not for me ;p

Think that food is still cheap? Try this in MCD. Dont you think the burger is getting smaller and smaller. People in our college is damn smart. They will overcharge you for every single thing that they sell to you (For charity ma ;P)

Government also have a lot of projects. Good, that helps people by providing jobs. But then, how long that a government plan last? Oh ya, Our government like to build all kind of monuments such as circuit for our friendly neighbourhood, mat rempit and a high tech toilet which will make sure you will done all your business in 20 min

The best job in Malaysia that never get bother by money crisis will be

1) Government 'servant' = They are government's servant and we are the government's servant's servant.

2)Begger = They beg you for money, either trade with some kinda of useless junk items (Overcharge again!!!) or act like one of the three blind mices. Worse, they no longer recieve amount which is below RM1. See, even begger reject your 50 cent!!!

3)Criminal (Jerks and @$$holes falls into this category as well)= They act like Ghost Rider, 'rempiting' all around, performing the same old school m0ther f!@King action and worse attacking pedestians. Not forget to mention, all the drug addicters, thieves, snatchers, DIY bomb makers, kidnapers, crappers that make all false claim regarding on every single crisis we have here and road barberian. F@#k all of you here!!!!!!! Take this!!!!!

In conclusion (Mrs Yap said must end every essay with a nice conclusion)

Please dont CATCH me!!!!! Thanks :D

Start with how I'm Started

2008-11-10T20:46:00.000+08:00

Hahahahahahaha

A weird way to start my first post in my first blog

'Happy Birthday, Mom!!!!!'

Yup, without my mom, i'm nothing

Thanks for everything that you have give me for the past 19 years.
I never actually said this to you personally,
But then you know me best, i'm those who will keep my feelings and thoughts inside me
I love you and thank you.... :)

(Owe you one meal.....)

Both of us share the same gene, 'not a natural poser' gene

Love you, mom. Lets cut the same hairstyle again!!!